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Welcome to the blog of The Killer Nacho, known to most mortals as Timothy J. Sharpe, a Computer Science graduate of Messiah College and currently a Systems Analyst for Sunoco Logistics. Within this tome of pages, one will find my innermost thoughts about various things concerning things that I enjoy. These subjects include, but are not limited to, roleplaying, gaming, American Football (the NFL), things to do with computers, philosophy, movies that are awesome, TV shows that are awesome, my own writings and creative works, and dangerous Mexican snacks.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Epic Continuity Part V: Men in Chartreuse Ties

This story actually got published at my college's annual Creative Writing journal. For that reason, there are two versions. The first is the published version, which is re-written from a 1st person perspective and gets rid of the reference to the other stories in the Epic Continuity (as well as several other improvements suggested by the journal). The second version is the original.

Published version:

He laid the manila folder upon the desk with undeniable authority, placing it exactly perpendicular to the desk's edge, while positioning himself in his chair, sitting as straight up as his spine allowed. After several moments of peaceful silence, he gently flipped open the cover to expose the papers within, slowly reading over his former notes as if he did not know what they contained. After what seemed like countless minutes, he gently placed the cover back to its original position hiding the papers, and looked over coldly to me. I was huddled across the desk on a wooden chair, twitching back and forth systematically. “Let us go over this again,” he said in his firm monotonous (and really obnoxious) voice.

Glancing over, I looked into is unchanging brown eyes. How I hated this man. His entire being made him appear to be a statue, nothing more. Perhaps it was worse to be a statue than what I was: insane. Well, how could I forget? I was only told so everyday by this same man. If sanity meant becoming a statue, I wanted no part of it. Speaking of parts, I recall once hearing that humans are made up of of parts, like some kind of strange biological machine. But of course, I hate Biology because of that one occurrence in the Sixth grade when my Science teacher scolded me for saving the poor, innocent toads that were about to be mercilessly dissected. How terrible it must have been for them, the toads, who had nothing to look forward to but a swift death followed by the pricking and prodding and removing of organs at the hands of fat, ugly American children. But I'm not fat, no, nor ugly. This I know as a fact, for that's what my mommy told me. My poor mommy though... she was a dentist, but died when I was very little. Perhaps it is ironic then, that I hate dentists. Dentists are the worst type of doctors. Well, maybe not, but oh how I hate those dentists anyway when they tell me that I have a cavity. The nerve... Cavities are painful. Oh how I hate pain...

“Cindy,” he said sharply, “Are you with me?” Ugh - his voice cut through my daze of thoughts like a sharp razor slicing though pineapples. I then became still like him, the statue, and looked up at the man, pretending to acknowledge his self-given importance.

“I think so,” I replied softly.

“Do you know why you are here to see me right now?”

“Does it have something to do with Mary attacking that poor nurse-lady?,” I answered. “Cause you know, I saw the whole thing.” Betraying Mary was difficult. She had always been a good friend. When she saw that cruel nurse telling me to take my medication, she had no choice but to act as she had.

“No,” he started, “Because you attacked Mrs. Winters, who is still recovering from the stab wound caused by that plastic butter-knife. I have told you before, Cindy, Mary does not exist. Have you been taking your medication?”

“What a gieglo-goober!” Mary exclaimed, jumping from the man's desk and moving behind it. She stared at him, her eyes going over his balding head. She had been sitting on the desk the whole time, you see, since she was the real culprit of the incident. I don't know why Dr. Winfred lets Mary sit on the desk, while I have to sit in the boring chair. Then again, things must be hard enough for Mary, with the mean doctor refusing to acknowledge her very existence. “There he goes again, saying I'm not real! You know I'm real, right Cindy?” I glanced over to Mary and nodded.

“Why do you lie to me Cindy?,” asked Dr. Winfred, still as clueless as ever. I wasn't even nodding at him. “If you had taken your medication, you would have not seen Mary. We have been through this a hundred times. Mary is the portrayal of your anger, much like Mrs Robertson is the portrayal of your fear, and Ricky is the ...”

Blah, blah, blah... I've heard all this nonsense before but never bought it one bit. It's one thing to accuse someone of assaulting a nurse, but an entirely different thing altogether to accuse someone of having other people wandering around in their head, abducting their eyes and forcing them to project incarnations of themselves all over the room to trick herself. Oh no, that is by far more ridiculous than anything I've ever said, seen, done, or thought. Who did this Dr. Winfred think he is, telling me that all my stories and fantasies can't possibly be real?

“This man is completely dreadful, Cindy,” screeched Mrs. Robertson, swinging back and forth on her rocking chair by the office's door, knitting the same sweater that she had been working on since before I could remember. “He doesn't know the first thing about anything, does he? You know, dear, he's probably one of them...”

Slowly, I turned to face the old lady sitting by the door, and asked “Them who?” For some reason this question scared me, despite having no idea what dear, sweet Mrs. Robertson was talking about.

Mrs. Robertson whispered her reply: “The scary Men in Chartreuse Ties, of course, dear. They're terrible people really, well, not people at all but rather robots, working for the evil Martian-Pirates of Jebediah-6 to force all the little girls on the planet Earth to take their pills. And once they do, dear, well... All the people they know and love vanish, and they become as lonely as they were before they were born.”

Before I was born? Now that was really scary... I can't even remember how lonely I was before I was born. In fact, I was quite certain that I didn't know anyone at all! If this was true, if Dr. Winfred really was one of these... Men in Chartreuse Ties...

“How can I be sure?” I quickly inquired.

“How else, dear?” asked Mrs. Robertson, who had returned to her knitting, “They wear chartreuse ties, of course.”

I quickly shot my head back and turned to Dr. Winfred, staring down at the apparel of the confused-looking man. He was indeed wearing a suit and a tie, but it was a color I had rarely seen before... it was a light greenish-yellow shade. Was this chartreuse? Chartreuse was a color that I had only heard of a few times in overheard conversations, I had no idea what it actually looked like... but maybe I could ask. “Dr. Winfred?”

“Yes, Cindy?”

“What is...” I paused for a second. After all, what if by asking him, he would realize that I was on to him? No... I had to know. “What kind of color is 'chartreuse'?”

The man blinked, barley showing his shocked reaction to the randomness of the question, but he answered anyway, “It is a yellow-green color,” he said looking down, “Like my tie here.”

As he muttered this reply, I could not help but freeze in terror. His words scared me like nothing ever had before. It scared me even more than that angry vampire chipmunk I saw outside my window when I was just a little girl. All of my worst fears were now confirmed to be true... he was a Man in a Chartreuse Tie, he was trying to make my friends disappear, he was trying to make me alone. Everyone that I knew and loved were in danger. Oh, but love... I had a love. I loved a wonderful, handsome, gorgeous, caring, thoughtful man, a man that I could only describe as Ricky.

Oh, how I love Ricky... he completes my every day, my overflowing love for him fills me. Ever since I met him, he was and is the only thing that I really care about. I even remember when we first met. It was when I was alone with only that stinky repulsive Pete to talk to (whom Dr. Winfred calls my “negative qualities”). I remember being rescued from that ugly companion in dashing style by my Prince Charming, Ricky (who oddly shares a name with a completely unrelated boy whom I had a crush on in the 3rd grade). Oh, Ricky...

I turned to Ricky (who always came with me when I had to face Dr. Winfred), and smiled, giving him “that look”. Sensing my love for him, he pulled me up from my chair and kissed me, the ultimate kiss... It was passionate, deep, complete, divine, hot, sexy... everything that one could hope for from a kiss. My tongue met his and they became locked together, I could think of nothing else. I went for my pants, I began to slip them off slowly, hoping to get him excited. But Ricky could not wait! He pushed me over playfully onto he floor. Ricky grew increasingly eager as he caressed my private parts in great anticipation. I could not help but moan...

“Cindy!” Dr. Winfred boomed, with more emotion than I've ever seen from him. He was standing now, his eyes glaring down at me from above. From my position on the floor, he appeared to be as tall as the tallest building in New York City, where I grew up. I remembered liking New York City. One time when I was walking my newest puppy in New York City, I- “What is the meaning of this! You will take your pills this instant!”

My pills! That's right! Dr. Winfred was a Man in a Chartreuse Tie! “It's funny you should mention that,” I exclaimed, quickly jumping to my feet, “For I now know what you really are!”

The doctor was not pleased with my change of attitude. For once in my life, I was determined. I was ready to take action. Ready to protect what was mine. He tried to reach for the phone on his desk, but Mary grabbed it, snapped the wire, and threw it across the room. The appliance shattered into little pieces of broken plastic and machinery, which cascaded all over the floor. What a beautiful sound.

“Cindy! Calm down!” he yelled, stepping back, frightened.

Mary then spoke in a firm, demanding voice: “He looks to destroy you Cindy, destroy us, you must dispose of him... for us!”

“Yes, for all of us, dear! You must rid the world of one of these terrible machines, dear” affirmed Mrs. Robertson, continuing to rock in her chair, knitting away.

“Please, for us, so we can be happy together forever,” Ricky pleaded, on his knees kissing my hand (This is what really convinced me).

For all of the friends I had ever known, this man, no, this machine, had to be destroyed. I charged, charged like a rampaging bull at the so called doctor and pushed him through the window behind him. The glass shattered from the momentum of his impact. It was a long drop down from Floor 66; not even a robot could survive that fall. I casually peeked out the window, watching the shocked Dr. Winfred topple down the building, screaming, and finally making a satisfying splat as he hit the pavement below. “Don't worry,” I told my friends, “It's over, for now.”

Original version:

He laid the manilla folder upon the desk with undeniable authority, placing it exactly perpendicular to the desk's edge, while he positioned himself on his chair, sitting as straight up as his spine allowed. After several moments of peaceful silence, he gently flipped open the cover to expose the papers within, slowly reading over his former notes as if he did not know what they contained. After what seemed like countless minutes, he gently placed the cover back to its original position hiding the papers, and looked over coldly to the young lady huddled across the desk on a wooden chair, pacing back and forth systematically. “Let us go over this again,” he said to her in his firm monotonous voice.

How she hated this man, she thought to herself as she stared into his unchanging eyes. His entire being made him appear to be a statue, nothing more. Perhaps it was worse to be a statue than what she was, which was nailed into her brain by now: insane. Well, how could she forget? She was only told so everyday by this same man. If sanity was becoming a statue, it was something she wanted no part of! Speaking of parts, she once heard that humans are made up of of parts, like a biological machine. But of course, she hated Biology because of one occurrence in the Sixth grade when her Science teacher scolded her for saving the poor, innocent toads that were about to be mercilessly dissected. How terrible it must have been for them, the toads, who had nothing to look forward to but a swift death followed by the pricking and prodding and removing of organs from ugly, fat American children. But she was not fat, no no, nor ugly. This she knew for that is what her mother told her. Her poor mother though... her mother was a dentist, she died when she was very little. Perhaps it was ironic then, that she hated dentists. Dentists were the worst type of doctors, well, maybe not, but oh how she hated those dentists when they told her that she had a cavity. Cavities are painful, how she hated pain...

“Cindy,” he said sharply, “Are you with me?” His voice cut through her daze of thoughts like a sharp razor slicing though pineapples. Her pacing stopped.

“I think so,” she replied in her soft, shy voice.

“Do you know why you are here to see me right now?” he asked.

“Does it have something to do with Mary attacking that poor nurse-lady? Cause you know, I saw the whole thing!”

“No,” he started, “Because it was you who attacked Mrs. Winters, who is still recovering from the stab wound. I have told you before, Mary does not exist. Have you been taking your medication?”

“What a giglo-goober!” Mary exclaimed, jumping to her feet and moving behind the desk to stare at the man, her eyes going over his balding head. She was actually sitting on the desk the whole time, you see, since she was the real culprit of the incident. Who knows why Dr. Winfred lets Mary sit on the desk but not Cindy, who has to sit on the boring chair. “There he goes again, saying I'm not real! You know I'm real, right Cindy?” Cindy nodded.

“Why do you lie to me Cindy?” asked Dr. Winfred, still as boring as ever. “If you had taken your medication, you would have not seen Mary. We have been through this. Mary is the portrayal of your anger, much like Mrs Robertson is the portrayal of your fear, and Ricky is the ...”

Cindy had heard this all before, however, but she didn't buy it one bit! It's one thing to accuse someone of assaulting a nurse, but an entirely different thing altogether to accuse someone of having other people wandering around in their head, abducting their eyes and forcing them to project incarnations of themselves all over the room to trick her. Oh no, that is by far more ridiculous than anything she has ever said, or did, or thought! Who does this Dr. Winfred think he is, telling her all these strange stories and fantasies that can't possibly be real?

“This man is completely dreadful, Cindy,” said Mrs. Robertson, swinging back and forth on her rocking chair by the door, knitting the same sweater she had been working on before Cindy could remember. “He doesn't know the first thing about anything, does he? ... He's probably one of them you know.”

Cindy stared in terror at the old woman by the door, “Them who?”

“The scary Men in Chartreuse Ties, of course, dear. They're terrible people really, well, not people at all but rather robots, working for the evil Martian-Pirates to force all the little girls in the world to take their pills! And once they do, bang! All the people they know and love vanish, and she becomes as lonely as she was before she was born!” Cindy thought about it for a little moment, but the thought scared her. She could not remember not being lonely before she was born! In fact, she was quite certain she saw no one at all! If this were true, if Dr. Winfred was really was one of these... Men in Chartreuse Ties... “Look, Cindy, he is wearing a chartreuse tie!”

Cindy's eyes dashed back across to the over-bearing man, who was indeed wearing a suit and a tie, but it was a color Cindy had rarely seen before, and could much less describe. Was this chartreuse? Chartreuse was only a color that she had heard a few times in overheard conversations, she had no idea what it actually looked like! “Dr. Winfred?”

“Yes, Cindy?”

“What is...” she paused, not sure what would happen if he knew she was on to him, “What kind of color is 'chartreuse'?”

The man blinked, barley showing his shocked reaction to the randomness of the question but answered anyway, “It's a greenish yellow color,” he said looking down, “Like my tie here.”

The answer scared her like nothing scared her before. It scared her even more than that angry vampire chipmunk she saw out her window when she was just a little girl! All of her worst fears were confirmed to be true, he was a Man in a Chartreuse Tie, he was trying to make Cindy alone! Everyone that Cindy knows and loves are in danger! Love... she had a love. She loved a wonderful, handsome, gorgeous, caring, thoughtful man, a man that she could only describe as Ricky! Oh, how she loved Ricky... ever since she met him, he was the only thing she ever cared about. She remembered how they first met, when she was alone with only that stinky repulsive Pete to talk to (whom Dr. Winfred called “your negative qualities”)... how she was rescued from that ugly companion by her Prince Charming, Ricky, who oddly shares a name with a completely unrelated boy whom she had a crush on in the 3rd grade!

Ricky, who was sitting next to Cindy and sensing her love for him, pulled her up from the chair and kissed her, the ultimate kiss! It was passionate, deep, everything that one could hope for from a kiss. Her tongue met his and they became locked together, with no other care in the world. Cindy went for her pants, she would slip them off slowly to get him excited, but Ricky could not wait! He pushed Cindy over playfully on he floor, getting eager as he caressed Cindy's private parts in great anticipation. Cindy began to moan.

“Cindy!” Dr. Winfred boomed, with more emotion than Cindy had ever seen from him before. He was standing now, his eyes glaring down at her from above. Since she was on the floor, he appeared to be as tall as the tallest building in New York City, where she grew up. How she remembered liking New York City. One time when she was walking her puppy in New York City, she... “What is the meaning of this! You will take your pills this instant!”

The pills! That's right! Dr. Winfred was a Man in a Chartreuse Tie! “It's funny you should mention that,” Cindy exclaimed jumping to her feat, “For I know what you really are now!”

The doctor was not pleased with this change of pace in her eyes. He quickly reached for his phone, but Mary grabbed it, snapped the wire, and threw it across the room, making little pieces of broken plastic and machinery splat all over the floor.

“Cindy! Calm down!”

“He looks to destroy you Cindy, destroy us, you must dispose of him! For us!” Mary said to her in a firm, demanding voice.

“Yes, for all of us, dear! You must rid the world of one of these terrible machines!” affirmed Mrs. Robertson, continuing to rock in her chair knitting away.

“Please, for us, so we can be happy together forever,” Ricky pleaded her, on his knees kissing her hand.

For all of her friends she had ever known, this man... this machine, must be destroyed. Cindy charged like a rampaging bull at the so called doctor and pushed him out of the window, the glass shattering from the momentum she provided. It was a long fall down from floor 66, not even a robot could survive that fall. She peeked out the window as she watched the shocked Dr. Winfred fall down the building screaming, making a satisfying splat as he hit the ground. “It's over, guys, for now.”

Cindy walked towards the door she came in at, all of her friends following her. But before she could do anything else, however, she felt a sharp pain in her jaw followed by a loud thud on the floor. The guards detained her easily, quickly placing her in their cruel handcuff restraints and forcing a pill down her throat. A few moments after they did, her friends began disappearing one by one... Mary, Mrs. Robertson, then even Ricky vanished slowly, his vanishing being the most painful of all. No... she had lost. There were more evil Men in Chartreuse Ties after all. And they had won. As they dragged her down the stairs she heard a strange sound coming from the other room, it was a television. She turned her head to see a familiar face.

“Authorities are after this man after he robbed several banks and shot several policemen at the Route 66W's Applebees,” said the reporter, a picture of an angry cowboy flashing on the screen as footage of the event played. She heard the sound of the policemen, “We know you are in there, we have the building completely surrounded! Come out now with your hands in the air!” but her eyes were fixed on the man's face. Was she not alone? Were they really not all gone?

“Pete...?”

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

NSFL: Meet the Contestants

Week 1 of the Nacho Simulation Football League is about to start (scheduled to be Simmed tommorrow, Wednesday the 22nd of February), and I'm going to let you guys follow here. In-depth stats for each game will be posted here on this blog, while each game's play-by-play will be visible through links to Youtube. But before that, lets take a look at each of the 16 teams participating in Season 1 of the NSFL. The NSFL is split into two conferences, four divisions, four teams per division. Here are each team and their drafted rosters, which they drafted in the league's inaugural draft:

Cheesy Conference

Red Division

East Carolina Pirates
Owner: RuskieTitan

Quarterback: Eli Manning
Runningbacks: Chris Johnson, BenJarvus Green-Ellis
Fullback: Ahmard Hall
Tight End: Marcedes Lewis
Wide Receivers: Michael Crabtree, Johnny Knox, Lance Moore
Offensive Line: Michael Roos, Rich Seubert, Shaun O'Hara, Ryan Lilja, Sean Locklear

Defensive Line: Jason Babin, Ndamukong Suh, Justin Tuck, John Abraham
Linebackers: Chad Greenway, Kamerion Wimbley, Derrick Johnson
Cornerbacks: Devin McCourty, Leon Hall
Safeties: LaRon Landry, Malcolm Jenkins

Kicker: Billy Cundiff
Punter: Brett Kern
Special Teams Unit: Bears
K/P Returner: Joshua Cribbs

Baltimore Ravens
Owner: ravens5520

Quarterback: Michael Vick
Runningbacks: LeSean McCoy, Fred Jackson
Fullback: Marcel Reece
Tight End: Todd Heap
Wide Receivers: Calvin Johnson, Wes Welker, Derrick Mason
Offensive Line: Michael Oher, Ben Grubbs, Jason Brown, Marshal Yanda, Sam Baker

Defensive Line: Trent Cole, Glenn Dorsey, Tommy Kelly, Shaun Ellis
Linebackers: Terrell Suggs, David Harris, James Anderson
Cornerbacks: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Joe Haden
Safeites: Chris Hope, Michael Griffin

Kicker: Rob Bironas
Punter: Donnie Jones
Special Teams Unit: Ravens
K/P Returner: Wes Welker

Queefy Potatoes
Owner: jcrell623

Quarterback: Jay Cutler
Runningbacks: Adrian Peterson, Ryan Grant
Fullback: Lawrence Vickers
Tight End: Kellen Winslow
Wide Receivers: Sidney Rice, Donald Driver, Steve Johnson
Offensive Line: Davin Joseph, Chris Snee, Bryant McKinnie, Steve Hutchinson, Branden Albert

Defensive Line: Dwight Freeney, Kevin Williams, Sedrick Ellis, Mathias Kiwanuka
Linebackers: Jon Beason, D'Qwell Jackson, Elvis Dumervil
Cornerbacks: Tramon Williams, Chris Gamble
Safeties: Tyvon Branch, Ed Reed

Kicker: Mason Crosby
Punter: Brian Moorman
Special Teams Unit: Browns
K/P Returner: Tramon Williams

Los Angeles Hoodrats
Owner: jmack923

Quarterback: Drew Brees
Runningbacks: Arian Foster, Shonn Greene
Fullback: Leonard Weaver
Tight End: Dustin Keller
Wide Receivers: Dwayne Bowe, Steve Smith (CAR), Chad Ochocinco
Offensive Line: Jermon Bushrod, Matt Birk, Olin Kreutz, Donald Penn, Damien Woody


Defensive Line: Aaron Smith, Albert Haynesworth, Pat Williams, Paul Soliai
Linebackers: James Harrison, Jonathan Vilma, Cameron Wake
Cornerbacks: Antonio Cromartie, Rashean Mathis
Safeties: Bob Sanders, Antoine Bethea

Kicker: Robbie Gould
Punter: Adam Podlesh
Special Teams Unit: Saints
K/P Returner: Steve Smith (CAR)


Blue Division


Toronto Assassins
Owner: x0x

Quarterback: Josh Freeman
Runningbacks: Maurice Jones-Drew, Brian Westbrook
Fullback: Vonta Leach
Tight End: Antonio Gates
Wide Receivers: Vincent Jackson, Devin Hester, Jeremy Maclin
Offensive Line: Matt Light, Logan Mankins, Jeff Saturday, Jake Scott, Marc Colombo


Defensive Line: Cory Redding, Kyle Williams, Shaun Rogers, Anthony Adams
Linebackers: Mike Vrabel, Jerod Mayo, Nick Barnett
Cornerbacks: Terrell Thomas, Corey Webster
Safeties: Roman Harper, Yeremiah Bell

Kicker: Josh Scobee
Punter: Shane Lechler
Special Teams Unit: Patriots
K/P Returner: Devin Hester


Kansas City Knights
Owner: PSID412

Quarterback: Matt Ryan
Runningbacks: Steven Jackson, Joseph Addai
Fullback: Heath Evans
Tight End: Chris Cooley
Wide Receivers: Hines Ward, Lee Evans, Santana Moss
Offensive Line: Jake Long, Carl Nicks, Ryan Kalil, Josh Sitton, Tyson Clabo


Defensive Line: Chris Long, Jonathan Babineaux, Tyson Alualu, Kyle Vanden Bosch
Linebackers: Clint Session, Brian Urlacher, Keith Rivers
Cornerbacks: Brandon Flowers, Jerraud Powers
Safeties: Kenny Phillips, Nate Allen

Kicker: Adam Vinatieri
Punter: Mat McBriar
Special Teams Unit: Steelers
K/P Returner: Santana Moss


Appalachain White Lightning
Owner: devils1854

Quarterback: Tony Romo
Runningbacks: Peyton Hillis, Thomas Jones
Fullback: Ovie Mughelli
Tight End: Zach Miller
Wide Receivers: Larry Fitzgerald, Mike Wallace, Terrell Owens
Offensive Line: Sebastian Vollmer, Justin Blalock, Alex Mack, Stephen Neal, Andrew Whitworth


Defensive Line: Robert Mathis, Richard Seymour, Terrance Knighton, Charles Johnson
Linebackers: Brian Orakpo, London Fletcher, Thomas Davis
Cornerbacks: Nnamdi Asomugha, Antoine Winfield
Safeties: William Moore, Oshiomogho Atogwe

Kicker: Davis Akers
Punter: Daniel Sepulveda
Special Teams Unit: Chiefs
K/P Returner: Leon Washington


Eastchester Bay Jokers
Owner: PhiCelek87

Quarterback: Kevin Kolb
Runningbacks: Darren McFadden, LeGarrette Blount
Fullback: Mike Tolbert
Tight End: Brent Celek
Wide Receivers: Santonio Holmes, Brandon Lloyd, Austin Collie
Offensive Line: Marcus McNeill, Brandon Moore, Eric Wood, Harvey Dahl, Jason Smith


Defensive Line: Jared Allen, B.J. Raji, Aubrayo Franklin, Osi Umenyiora
Linebackers: Paul Posluszny, Curtis Lofton, Lofa Tatupu
Cornerbacks: Darrelle Revis, Charles Woodson
Safeties: Eric Berry, Jim Leonhard

Kicker: Neil Rackers
Punter: Zoltan Mesko
Special Teams Unit: Falcons
K/P Returner: Brandon Tate


Salsa Conference

Green Division


Las Vegas Casinos
Owner: steelcurtain29

Quarterback: Ben Roethlisberger
Runningbacks: Matt Forte, Felix Jones
Fullback: Madison Hedgecock
Tight End: Dallas Clark
Wide Receivers: Brandon Marshall, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Roy Williams
Offensive Line: Ryan Clady, Travelle Wharton, Andre Gurode, Todd Herremans, David Stewart


Defensive Line: Mario Williams, Brodrick Bunkley, Tyson Jackson, Darnell Dockett
Linebackers: Brian Cushing, Rolando McClain, Aaron Curry
Cornerbacks: Quentin Jammer, Tracy Porter
Safeties: Adrian Wilson, Nick Collins

Kicker: Stephen Gostkowski
Punter: Mike Scifres
Special Teams Unit: Seahawks
K/P Returner: Reggie Bush


Harlem Notrotters
Owner:  Remixxxxxxx

Quarterback: Philip Rivers
Runningbacks: Knowshon Moreno, Ronnie Brown
Fullback: Lousaka Polite
Tight End: Vernon Davis
Wide Receivers: Roddy White, DeSean Jackson, Jacoby Ford
Offensive Line: Jammal Brown, Leonard Davis, Jeff Faine, Bobbie Williams, Jared Gaither


Defensive Line: Justin Smith, Brandon Mebane, Marcus Stroud, Will Smith
Linebackers: Tamba Hali, Bart Scott, Manny Lawson
Cornerbacks: Champ Bailey, Johnathan Joseph
Safeties: Antrel Rolle, Jairus Byrd

Kicker: Nate Kaeding
Punter: Sam Koch
Special Teams Unit: Raiders
K/P Returner: Jacoby Ford


Miami Dolphins
Owner: FinsWin

Quarterback: Matt Schaub
Runningbacks: Frank Gore, Brandon Jacobs
Fullback: Mike Sellers
Tight End: Jason Witten
Wide Receivers: Reggie Wayne, Randy Moss, Davone Bess
Offensive Line: Vernon Carey, Mike Iupati, Dan Koppen, Robert Gallery, Flozell Adams


Defensive Line: Randy Starks, Vince Wilfork, Jamal Williams, Brett Keisel
Linebackers: Lance Briggs, Karlos Dansby, James Laurinatis
Cornerbacks: Vontae Davis, DeAngelo Hall
Safeties: Troy Polamalu, Ryan Clark

Kicker: Dan Carpenter
Punter: Brandon Fields
Special Teams Unit: Jets
K/P Returner: Brad Smith


bucstopshere's Team
Owner: bucstopshere

Quarterback: Aaron Rodgers
Runningbacks: Jonathan Stewart, DeAngelo Williams
Fullback: Earnest Graham
Tight End: Jermichael Finley
Wide Receivers: Greg Jennings, Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham
Offensive Line: Russell Okung, Zane Beadles, J.D. Walton, Doug Free, Trent Williams


Defensive Line: Julius Peppers, Gerald McCoy, Ziggy Hood, Carlos Dunlap
Linebackers: Geno Hayes, DeMeco Ryans, Sean Weatherspoon
Cornerbacks: Aqib Talib, Jabari Greer
Safeties: Michael Huff, Tanard Jackson

Kicker: Connor Barth
Punter: Pat McAfee
Special Teams Unit: Buccaneers
K/P Returner: Mario Manningham


Yellow Division


Rhode Island Majors
Owner: mgoblue44

Quarterback: Peyton Manning
Runningbacks: Michael Turner, Cedric Benson
Fullback: John Kuhn
Tight End: Tony Gonzalez
Wide Receivers: Steve Smith (NYG), Braylon Edwards, Steve Breaston
Offensive Line: D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Chad Clifton, Eric Winston, Alan Faneca, Jason Peters


Defensive Line: Aaron Kampman, Casey Hampton, Antonio Garay, Cullen Jenkins
Linebackers: Shaun Phillips, Ray Lewis, E.J. Henderson
Cornerbacks: Asante Samuel, Dunta Robinson
Safeties: Brandon Meriweather, Kerry Rhodes

Kicker: Garrett Hartley
Punter: Dustin Colquitt
Special Teams Unit: Eagles
K/P Returner: Steve Breaston


Pittsburgh Waffles
Owner: waffles7

Quarterback: Sam Bradford
Runningbacks: Rashard Mendenhall, LaDainian Tomlinson
Fullback: Greg Jones
Tight End: Rob Gronkowski
Wide Receivers: Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, Percy Harvin
Offensive Line: Joe Thomas, Jahri Evans, Maurkice Pouncey, Eric Steinbach, Eugene Monroe


Defensive Line: Cliff Avril, Calais Campbell, Haloti Ngata, Ray Edwards
Linebackers: LaMarr Woodley, Lawrence Timmons, David Hawthorne
Cornerbacks: Brent Grimes, Ike Taylor
Safeties: T.J. Ward, Earl Thomas

Kicker: Sebastian Janikowski
Punter: Andy Lee
Special Teams Unit: Packers
K/P Returner: Percy Harvin


Seahawks22's Team
Owner: Seahawks22

Quarterback: Joe Flacco
Runningbacks: Jamaal Charles, Ahmad Bradshaw
Fullback: Tony Richardson
Tight End: Brandon Pettigrew
Wide Receivers: Andre Johnson, Marques Colston, Kenny Britt
Offensive Line: Rodger Saffold, Kris Dielman, Nick Hardwick, Joe Staley, Charlie Johnson


Defensive Line: Chris Clemons, Jay Ratliff, Jason Jones, Barry Cofield
Linebackers: DeMarcus Ware, Barrett Ruud, Clay Matthews
Cornerbacks: Mike Jenkins, Charles Tillman
Safeties: Brian Dawkins, Eric Weddle

Kicker: Olindo Mare
Punter: Jon Ryan
Special Teams Unit: Cowboys
K/P Returner: Kenny Britt


Motor City Machine Gunners
Owner: Lionsfanforever

Quarterback: Tom Brady
Runningbacks: Ray Rice, Marion Barber
Fullback: Le'Ron McClain
Tight End: Heath Miller
Wide Receivers: Anquan Boldin, Mike Sims-Walker, Antwaan Randle El
Offensive Line: Jordan Gross, Shawn Andrews, Nick Mangold, Jeff Backus, Jon Stinchcomb


Defensive Line: Brandon Graham, Kris Jenkins, Corey Williams, Luis Castillo
Linebackers: A.J. Hawk, Patrick Willis, James Farrior
Cornerbacks: Cortland Finnegan, Antoine Cason
Safeties: Patrick Chung, Louis Delmas

Kicker: Jason Hanson
Punter: Nick Harris
Special Teams Unit: Lions
K/P Returner: Antwaan Randle El


Poll

So seeing as last poll question got annihilated 15-0 that the SuperBowl halftime show was without a doubt the worst piece of crap ever, there's time for a new poll on this blog! I can't think of a better one than "Which NSFL Team will win the Taco Bowl?" Vote on the right hand side of my blog!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Number '666'

For awhile, the number '666' seemed to be obsessed with me. No matter where I went, I could not escape this number. Thankfully, this has died down quite a bit and my life is slowly returning to normal, where all numbers are fairly distributed in my life. This post is to serve as a collection - proofs of my '666' experiences, and show the world now the number '666' can shadow people and consume their lives... Pray that the number '666' never haunts you like it did me... now, the proofs...

All of these screen-shots are 100% legitimate and random. I did not go out to seek these things, they just happened, and I noticed them. Who knows how many '666 moments' I missed ruing this period as well...
Damn you, I just want to search the web in peace!!!

Back in my old junk mail account I log in to discover a high but familiar number in my inbox...

Of course after buying my Skeleton armies in H3: WOG I have exactly 666 gold remaining...
This 666 gold thing is getting lame... now it follows me into Warcraft 3.
And Diablo II, damn it!
And again in the SAME FREAKING D2 session.
And now in the MMORPG Tibia...
What's the chance I log in exactly when I have 6,666 subscribers?? Please, just leave me alone!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Factions TCG Expansion: Kingdom Reborn

The original post about what Factions TCG is and the rules can be found here.

This post contains the third and final (for now) expansion set I created for Factions, titled Kingdom Reborn. The Subspace advance from Dimensional Invasion has been mostly squelched by various factions allying together, but at what cost? Victory and war has brought pride back to the old Kingdom - and with that pride comes advancement. Now that the Dimensional Horror threat is all but over, each of the surviving Factions seek to advance their positions in the world of Tactia! Kingdom Reborn adds new cards, strategies, and concepts to the Factions card base.

KINGDOM REBORN LIST
10 very rares, 20 rares, 30 uncommons, 50 commons
  1. Imperial Trooper (C)
  2. Imperial Captain (UC)
  3. Knight (C)
  4. Imperial Officer (UC)
  5. High Knight (C)
  6. Heavy Blade (C)
  7. Crossbowman (UC)
  8. Elite Knight (R)
  9. Imperial Assassin (R)
  10. Imperial Spellcaster (C)
  11. Anti-Air Tower (UC)
  12. Great Wall (UC)
  13. Imperial Tank (R)
  14. Emperor Vaan (VR)
  15. Apprentice Mage (C)
  16. Learner of the Master (UC)
  17. Gifted Apprentice (C)
  18. Mage (C)
  19. Master Drey Chrisophson (VR)
  20. Master Vaander Korath (VR)
  21. Master Kelios Drake (VR)
  22. Rebel Sniper (UC)
  23. Rebel Infiltrator (C)
  24. Deflector (UC)
  25. Greggory, Rebel (R)
  26. Lorenzo Maydon, Grand Knight (VR)
  27. Goblin Spawn of Hatrid (C)
  28. Goblin Berzerker (C)
  29. Fidget, Goblin Warlord (R)
  30. Prophet of Targ (C)
  31. War Bird (UC)
  32. Wrecker (R)
  33. Skeleton (C)
  34. Zombie (C)
  35. Soldier of Darkness (C)
  36. Ghost (C)
  37. Haunted Soul (UC)
  38. Necromancer (C)
  39. Dark Mistress Leota (R)
  40. Dark Admiral Zeal (R)
  41. Zeal, Ultima Void Knight (VR)
  42. Subspace Survivor (C)
  43. Horror (C)
  44. Greater Horror (C)
  45. Horror of Nature (UC)
  46. Horror of Flesh (UC)
  47. Horror of Famine (UC)
  48. Horror Grandmaster Gluttus (R)
  49. Joyju Apprentice (UC)
  50. Kinwan Apprentice (UC)
  51. Sword-for-Hire (C)
  52. Wolf of Prey (C)
  53. Attack Fish (C)
  54. Mermaid (UC)
  55. Merman (UC)
  56. Seamur Maddox, Bounty Hunter (VR)
  57. Joyju Master (R)
  58. Kinwan Master (R)
  59. Great Shark (UC)
  60. Taragon Aquawyrm (UC)
  61. Weapons Master (UC)
  62. Neptune, Guardian of the Ocean (R)
  63. Master of Both Schools (R)
  64. Imperial Taxation (UC)
  65. Imperial Oppression (R)
  66. Tactical Assault (R)
  67. Strategic Move (C)
  68. For the Kingdom! (R)
  69. Flanking Support (C)
  70. Boycott (UC)
  71. Quick Dodge (C)
  72. Master Assault (R)
  73. Counter Tactic (C)
  74. Instant Death (VR)
  75. Heart Attack (UC)
  76. Locust Swarm (R)
  77. Fear of Targ (C)
  78. Horror Gate (UC)
  79. Flood (UC)
  80. Joyjitsu (C)
  81. Kinwante (C)
  82. Block (C)
  83. First Aid (C)
  84. Imperial Command Center (VR)
  85. Imperial Fortress (UC)
  86. Master’s Chambers (R)
  87. Resistance HQ (C)
  88. Alliance Knight HQ (C)
  89. Strike Base (UC)
  90. Gigantic Wall (C)
  91. Haunted Mansion (UC)
  92. Ocean (C)
  93. Medal of Honor (UC)
  94. Master Staff (C)
  95. Sword of Lorenzo Maydon (R)
  96. Club of Punishing (UC)
  97. Cloak of the Undead King (VR)
  98. Sword of Darkness (C)
  99. Helm of Courage (C)
100. Improved Battle Suit (C)

IMPERIAL TROOPER
Unit, Kingdom
Human Archer
9 points
10 HP
16 DEF
3 ATK
10 DAM
Ranged (This unit’s attacks have a range of 1.)

IMPERIAL CAPTAIN
Unit, Kingdom
Human Diplomat
12 points
10 HP
16 DEF
3 ATK
10 DAM
Ranged (This unit’s attacks have a range of 1.)

Commander Effect:
Followers gain +2 defense.

KNIGHT
Unit, Kingdom
Human Warrior
15 points
50 HP
17 DEF
10 ATK
10 DAM
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage, save 16.)

IMPERIAL OFFICER
Unit, Kingdom
Human Diplomat
15 points
10 HP
14 DEF
0 ATK
10 DAM
Commander Effect:
Followers with 10 base damage gains Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.).

HIGH KNIGHT
Unit, Kingdom
Human Warrior
21 points
60 HP
18 DEF
10 ATK
10 DAM
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Bow Attack 10 (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make one attack with -2 attack and 10 damage.)
Greater Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage and makes an immediate attack against the attacker, save 16.)
Sweep (Replaces attacks, attack each enemy in the same zone once.)

HEAVY BLADE
Unit, Kingdom
Human Warrior
21 points
80 HP
16 DEF
8 ATK
30 DAM
Penetration (This unit’s attacks ignores Damage Reduction.)

CROSSBOWMAN
Unit, Kingdom
Human Archer
23 points
30 HP
16 DEF
10 ATK
20 DAM
Ranged (This unit’s attacks have a range of 1.)
Stealth (This unit cannot be attacked or targeted by an ability by a unit in a different zone.)
Penetration (This unit’s attacks ignores Damage Reduction.)

ELITE KNIGHT
Unit, Kingdom
Human Warrior
29 points
100 HP
19 DEF
11 ATK
20 DAM
Bow Attack 10 (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make one attack with -2 attack and 10 damage.)
Greater Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage and makes an immediate attack against the attacker, save 16.)
Sweep (Replaces attacks, attack each enemy in the same zone once.)

IMPERIAL ASSASSIN
Unit, Kingdom
Human Rogue
30 points
50 HP
16 DEF
13 ATK
30 DAM
Bounty Hunter 2 (+2 attack against Unique enemies)
Preemptive Strike (+4 attack and +10 damage against enemies who have not activated this round.)
Greater Stealth (This unit cannot be attacked or targeted except by a unit in the same zone and when there are no allies without Greater Stealth in this unit’s zone.)

IMPERIAL SPELLCASTER
Unit, Kingdom
Human Wizard
33 points
70 HP
19 DEF
9 ATK
10 DAM
Stun (When this unit hits a non-activated enemy, it is activated with a save of 11.)

Magic 3
Gather Power 10 (Magic 1, +10 damage on this unit’s next attack.)
Fireball (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage)
Chain Lightning (Magic 2, range 0, replaces attacks, 10 damage to all other units in the zone.)
Blizzard (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage and target is activated, save 11.)

ANTI-AIR TOWER
Unit, Kingdom
Construct
35 points
80 HP
19 DEF
0 ATK
0 DAM
Immobile (This unit cannot move.)
Air Net (Negate the effect of Flying of all enemies in the same zone as this unit.)
Anti-Air Turret (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make an attack at +8 attack and 30 damage against a Flying enemy.)
Desired Placement (This unit may be deployed in any zone you control instead of your city zone.)

GREAT WALL
Unit, Kingdom
Construct
40 points
60 HP
14 DEF
0 ATK
0 DAM
Immobile (This unit cannot move.)
Inanimate (This unit does not count when determining control of a zone. This unit does not benefit from Commander Effects.)
Damage Reduction 20 (When this unit takes damage, reduce that damage by 20.)
Desired Placement (This unit may be deployed in any zone you control instead of your city zone.)
Deconstruct (The player who controls the zone this unit is in may defeat this unit by activating four units in the same zone. That player then gains 5 build points.)

IMPERIAL TANK
Unit, Kingdom
Construct
45 points
90 HP
23 DEF
10 ATK
30 DAM
Sturdy (This unit is immune to critical hits.)
Penetration (This unit’s attacks ignores Damage Reduction.)
Damage Reduction 10 (When this unit takes damage, reduce that damage by 10.)
Bombard (This unit may attack with a range of 1 at -10 damage and -2 attack.)

EMPEROR VAAN
Unit, Kingdom
Human Warrior Wizard Diplomat
66 points
130 HP
22 DEF
15 ATK
20 DAM
Unique, counts as Prince Vaan
Triple Attack (This unit may make two extra attacks instead of moving.)
Greater Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage and makes an immediate attack against the attacker, save 16.)
Bow Attack 30 (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make one attack with -2 attack and 30 damage.)
Preemptive Strike (+4 attack and +10 damage against enemies who have not activated this round.)

Magic 2, Magic Regeneration 1
Magic Strike (Magic 1, replaces attacks, make two attacks.)
Sense Attack (Magic 1, When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage with a save of 11.)

Commander Effect:
You may deploy units in the same zone that this character is instead of your city zone.
Followers gain +3 attack and +3 defense and gain Magic 1 if they do not have a Magic Rating.

APPRENTICE MAGE
Unit, Mage Guild
Human Wizard
8 points
10 HP
14 DEF
2 ATK
10 DAM
Magic 1
Sparks (Magic 1, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage)

LEARNER OF THE MASTER
Unit, Mage Guild
Human Wizard
10 points
10 HP
14 DEF
0 ATK
10 DAM
Call for Master (When this unit is recruited, search your deck for one unit with “Master” in its name and add it to your hand.)
Learning from Master (This unit gains +2 attack and +2 defense for each unit with “Master” in its name in the same zone as this unit. This unit can spend Magic points of units with “Master” in its name in the same zone.)

Magic 1
Sparks (Magic 1, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage)

GIFTED APPRENTICE
Unit, Mage Guild
Human Wizard
16 points
20 HP
14 DEF
2 ATK
10 DAM
Magic 1, Magic Regeneration 1
Sparks (Magic 1, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage)
Repulse 20 (Magic 2, Deal 20 damage to every unit in the zone except this unit and move each one zone closer to their city zone.)

MAGE
Unit, Mage Guild
Human Wizard
20 points
30 HP
14 DEF
3 ATK
10 DAM
Magic 4
Sparks (Magic 1, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage)
Fireball (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage)
Chain Lightning (Magic 2, range 0, replaces attacks, 10 damage to all other units in the zone.)
Blizzard (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage and target is activated, save 11.)

MASTER DREY CHRISOPHSON
Unit, Mage Guild
Human Wizard
34 points
80 HP
18 DEF
6 ATK
10 DAM
Unique
Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage, save 16.)
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Opportunist (+4 attack and +10 damage against enemies who have already activated this round.)

Magic 3
Sense Enemy (Magic 2, range 1, All enemies with Stealth or Greater Stealth lose Stealth or Greater Stealth until the end of the round.)
Fireball (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage)
Sense Attack (Magic 1, When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage with a save of 11.)
Gather Power 10 (Magic 1, +10 damage on this unit’s next attack.)

MASTER VAANDER KORATH
Unit, Mage Guild
Elf Wizard
44 points
100 HP
17 DEF
10 ATK
10 DAM
Unique
Speed +1 (This unit may move one extra zone in a single turn.)

Magic 3, Magic Rengeneration 1
Sense Enemy (Magic 2, range 1, All enemies with Stealth or Greater Stealth lose Stealth or Greater Stealth until the end of the round.)
Chain Lightning (Magic 2, range 0, replaces attacks, 10 damage to all other units in the zone.)
Lightning Bolt (Magic 4, range 1, replaces attacks, 50 damage. Target is activated with a save of 11.)

MASTER KELIOS DRAKE
Unit, Mage Guild
Dwarf Wizard
64 points
120 HP
18 DEF
9 ATK
10 DAM
Unique
Multi-Tasker (This unit may use two abilities that replaces attacks in a single turn.)

Magic 4, Magic Regeneration 2
Master Magician 3 (This unit may use magic three times in a single turn.)
Sense Enemy (Magic 2, range 1, All enemies with Stealth or Greater Stealth lose Stealth or Greater Stealth until the end of the round.)
Fireball (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage)
Chain Lightning (Magic 2, range 0, replaces attacks, 10 damage to all other units in the zone.)
Blizzard (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage and target is activated, save 11.)
Magic Blast (Magic 3, range 1, replaces attacks, 30 damage)

Commander Effect:
This commander effect has unlimited range. Allies with a Magic rating may spend this unit’s Magic points instead of their own. They cannot combine their own Magic points with this unit’s Magic points.

REBEL SNIPER
Unit, Alliance
Human Archer
18 points
20 HP
16 DEF
11 ATK
30 DAM
Ranged (This unit’s attacks have a range of 1.)
Careful Aim (This unit cannot move and attack in the same turn.)
Sniper (This enemy’s attacks can target enemies with Stealth or Greater Stealth.)
Opportunist (+4 attack and +10 damage against enemies who have already activated this round.)

REBEL INFILTRATOR
Unit, Alliance
Dwarf Warrior
18 points
40 HP
17 DEF
9 ATK
20 DAM
Momentum (This unit gets +4 attack and +10 damage if it moved this turn.)
Pursuit (When an enemy moves out of this unit’s zone, this unit may make an immediate attack against that unit.)

DEFLETOR
Unit, Alliance
Construct
27 points
60 HP
18 DEF
0 ATK
0 DAM
Speed -1 (This unit can move one less zone in a single turn.)
Shields (When this unactivated unit is hit by an attack, you may activate this unit to reduce the damage by 20.)
Shield Generator (Allies in the same zone as this unit gain Shields (When this unactivated unit is hit by an attack, you may activate this unit to reduce the damage by 20.).)

GREGGORY, REBEL
Unit, Alliance
Human Warrior
43 points
110 HP
21 DEF
11 ATK
20 DAM
Unique (You may only control one of these units at a time.)
Triple Attack (This unit may make two extra attacks instead of moving.)
Bow Attack 20 (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make one attack with -2 attack and 20 damage.)
Greater Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage and makes an immediate attack against the attacker, save 16.)

Commander Effect:
Alliance allies gain +2 attack and +2 defense.

LORENZO MAYDON, GRAND KNIGHT
Unit, Alliance
Human Warrior
57 points
140 HP
22 DEF
13 ATK
20 DAM
Unique, counts as Lorenzo Maydon
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Momentum (This unit gets +4 attack and +10 damage if it moved this turn.)
Pursuit (When an enemy moves out of this unit’s zone, this unit may make an immediate attack against that unit.)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)

Commander Effect:
Followers gain Twin Attack and Dodge.

GOBLIN SPAWN OF HATRID
Unit, Barbarian
Goblin
4 points
10 HP
15 DEF
7 ATK
10 DAM
Blind Rage (When this unit attacks, it may attack at -4 attack and +10 damage.)

GOBLIN BERZERKER
Unit, Barbarian
Goblin Warrior
9 points
10 HP
14 DEF
2 ATK
10 DAM
Occasional Berzerking (At the beginning of this unit’s turn, roll a save of 11. If the save succeeds, this unit gets +4 attack and +20 damage until the end of the round.)
Explosive 20 (When this unit is defeated, deal 20 damage to all units in the same zone.)

FIDGET, GOBLIN WARLORD
Unit, Barbarian
Goblin Diplomat
12 points
30 HP
15 DEF
8 ATK
10 DAM
Unique
Triple Attack (This unit may make two extra attacks instead of moving.)
Explosive 20 (When this unit is defeated, deal 20 damage to all units in the same zone.)
Self Destruct 10 (Replaces attacks, Defeat this unit to deal 10 damage to every other unit in the same zone.)

PROPHET OF TARG
Unit, Barbarian
Orc Cleric
14 points
20 HP
15 DEF
8 ATK
10 DAM
Magic 2
Bloodlust (Magic 1, range 1, replaces attacks, This unit or target ally gets +2 attack on its next attack. This effect can stack.)

Commander Effect:
Barbarian allies gain +4 attack.

WAR BIRD
Unit, Barbarian
Beast
25 points
50 HP
18 DEF
9 ATK
30 DAM
Flying (This unit can move forward even if the current zone is occupied by an enemy. Flying enemies negate this ability.)
Shields (When this unactivated unit is hit by an attack, you may activate this unit to reduce the damage by 20.)
Anti-Air Turret (Replaces attacks, range 1, Make an attack at +8 attack and 30 damage against a Flying enemy.)

WRECKER
Unit, Barbarian
Ogre Warrior
40 points
90 HP
20 DEF
8 ATK
20 DAM
Unique
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Momentum (This unit gets +4 attack and +10 damage if it moved this turn.)
Speed +1 (This unit may move one extra zone in a single turn.)
Quick Reactions (When this unit is hit by an attack, it may make one immediate attack against the attacker.)
Mobile Attack (Replaces turn, move this unit one zone, make an attack, then move this unit one more zone.)

SKELETON
Unit, Underworld
Undead
5 points
10 HP
13 DEF
5 ATK
10 DAM
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)
High Population (You may have an unlimited amount of this card in your deck for deck-building purposes.)

ZOMBIE
Unit, Underworld
Undead
10 points
10 HP
15 DEF
5 ATK
10 DAM
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)
Revival (When this unit is defeated, bring it back to life at 10 HP with a save of 11.)

SOLDIER OF DARKNESS
Unit, Underworld
Human Rogue
12 points
30 HP
16 DEF
7 ATK
10 DAM
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)

GHOST
Unit, Underworld
Undead
13 points
20 HP
19 DEF
3 ATK
10 DAM
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)
Revival (When this unit is defeated, bring it back to life at 10 HP with a save of 11.)

HAUNTED SOUL
Unit, Underworld
Undead
15 points
50 HP
18 DEF
8 ATK
20 DAM
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)

NECROMANCER
Unit, Underworld
Undead Cleric
21 points
40 HP
15 DEF
5 ATK
10 DAM
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)
Mana Shield (When this unit takes damage from a Magic ability, take no damage with a save of 11.)

Magic 4
Necromancy (Magic 2, range 1, when an enemy is defeated you may search your deck for 1 “Skeleton” and put it into play in the same zone as the defeated enemy.)
Dark Bomb (Magic 3, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage to every character in the zone.)

DARK MISTRESS LEOTA
Unit, Underworld
Undead Cleric
24 points
40 HP
16 DEF
8 ATK
10 DAM
Unique
Noble (This unit cannot be attacked unless it is the only legal target.)
Undead (When this unit is healed, it takes that much damage instead. This unit is immune to critical hits.)

Magic 2
Dark Strike (Magic 1, range 1, 20 damage, save 11.)
Necromancy (Magic 2, range 1, when an enemy is defeated you may search your deck for 1 “Skeleton” and put it into play in the same zone as the defeated enemy.)

Commander Effect:
Followers with Revival only need a save of 6, instead of 11. Followers with Undead gain Revival.

DARK ADMIRAL ZEAL
Unit, Underworld
Human Warrior Diplomat
39 points
100 HP
19 DEF
12 ATK
20 DAM
Unique, counts as Zeal, Void Knight
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Greater Parry (When hit by a non-ranged attack, this unit takes no damage and makes an immediate attack against the attacker, save 16.)
Dark Shield (When this unit takes damage, reduce the damage by 10 with a save of 11.)

Magic 2, Magic Renewal 1
Dark Bomb (Magic 3, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage to every character in the zone.)
Unleash the Darkness (Magic 6, replaces attacks, defeat all units in the current zone (including this unit), with a save of 6.)

Commander Effect:
Allies gain Dark Shield.

ZEAL, ULTIMA VOID KNIGHT
Unit, Underworld
Human Warrior
71 points
160 HP
21 DEF
16 ATK
20 DAM
Unique, counts as Zeal, Void Knight
Triple Attack (This unit may make two extra attacks instead of moving.)
Magic Hunter (+4 attack and +10 damage against enemies with a Magic rating.)
Life Drain (When this unit deals damage with an attack, roll a save of 11. If it succeeds, this unit heals damage equal to the damage dealt.)
Dark Shield (When this unit takes damage, reduce the damage by 10 with a save of 11.)

Magic 5, Magic Renewal 1
Sense Attack (Magic 1, When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage with a save of 11.)
Dark Bomb (Magic 3, range 1, replaces attacks, 20 damage to every character in the zone.)
Dark Void (Magic 10, range 1, replaces attacks, defeat target enemy)

SUBSPACE SURVIVOR
Unit, Subspace
Horror
3 points
10 HP
17 DEF
1 ATK
10 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)

HORROR
Unit, Subspace
Horror
10 points
10 HP
19 DEF
3 ATK
20 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Speed +1 (This unit may move one extra zone in a single turn.)

GREATER HORROR
Unit, Subspace
Horror
20 points
20 HP
22 DEF
4 ATK
30 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Speed +1 (This unit may move one extra zone in a single turn.)

HORROR OF NATURE
Unit, Subspace
Horror Elemental
20 points
20 HP
21 DEF
5 ATK
20 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Nature Bending (When this unit is recruited, destroy all locations in the game. When this unit is defeated, both players may search their discard for one location and place it into play on a zone they control.)

HORROR OF FLESH
Unit, Subspace
Horror Elemental
20 points
20 HP
20 DEF
6 ATK
20 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Flesh Bending (When this unit is recruited, all units in the game except this unit take 20 damage. When this unit is defeated, all units in the game heal 20 damage.)

HORROR OF FAMINE
Unit, Subspace
Horror Elemental
20 points
30 HP
20 DEF
4 ATK
20 DAM
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Resource Bending (When this unit is recruited, both players receive 10 less build during their next build step. When this unit is defeated, both players gain 10 extra build during their next build step.)

HORROR GRANDMASTER GLUTTUS
Unit, Subspace
Horror Diplomat
25 points
30 HP
23 DEF
4 ATK
30 DAM
Unique
Dimensional Variance (When this unit is defeated, you may return it to your hand with a save of 16.)
Horror Return (Replaces turn, Range 1, Return one allied unit with Horror in its name back to your hand.)
Speed +1 (This unit may move one extra zone in a single turn.)

Commander Effect:
Allied units with "Horror" in their name double their base attack. Allied effects with “Bending” in their name do not affect you or cards controlled by you.

JOYJU APPRENTICE
Unit, Neutral
Elf Monk
8 points
10 HP
14 DEF
6 ATK
10 DAM
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)

Magic 1

KINWAN APPRENTICE
Unit, Neutral
Dwarf Monk
8 points
10 HP
14 DEF
6 ATK
10 DAM
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)

Magic 1
Magic Strike (Magic 1, replaces attacks, make two attacks.)

SWORD-FOR-HIRE
Unit, Neutral
Human Warrior
10 points
20 HP
14 DEF
10 ATK
20 DAM
Mercenary (This unit cannot move if there is an enemy it can attack.)

WOLF OF PREY
Unit, Neutral
Beast
10 points
20 HP
16 DEF
10 ATK
10 DAM
High Population (You may have an unlimited amount of this card in your deck for deck-building purposes.)
Swarm (This unit gets +1 attack and defense for each ally in the same zone with the same name as this unit.)

ATTACK FISH
Unit, Neutral
Fish
11 points
40 HP
20 DEF
10 ATK
20 DAM
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Home (This unit may be deployed in any zone with an “Ocean” location instead of your city zone.)
Ocean Dependence (If this unit is in a zone without an “Ocean” location, it is defeated.)

MERMAID
Unit, Neutral
Fish
15 points
40 HP
19 DEF
8 ATK
10 DAM
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Home (This unit may be deployed in any zone with an “Ocean” location instead of your city zone.)
Seadweller (This unit gains Immobile (This unit cannot move.) if it is not in a zone with an “Ocean” location.)
Charm (Replaces attacks, range 1, Target unit gets -4 attack and -10 damage until the end of the round.)

MERMAN
Unit, Neutral
Fish
24 points
40 HP
19 DEF
9 ATK
10 DAM
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Home (This unit may be deployed in any zone with an “Ocean” location instead of your city zone.)
Seadweller (This unit gains Immobile (This unit cannot move.) if it is not in a zone with an “Ocean” location.)
Ocean Builder (When this unit is recruited, search your deck for one “Ocean” location and put it into play within a range of 1 of this unit.)
Productive (Get +1 build during your build step)

SEAMUR MADDOX, BOUNTY HUNTER
Unit, Neutral
Human Rogue
25 points
70 HP
20 DEF
11 ATK
20 DAM
Unique
Bounty Hunter 2 (+2 attack against Unique enemies)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)
Pursuit (When an enemy moves out of this unit’s zone, this unit may make an immediate attack against that unit.)
Mobile Attack (Replaces turn, move this unit one zone, make an attack, then move this unit one more zone.)

JOYJU MASTER
Unit, Neutral
Elf Monk
26 points
50 HP
17 DEF
10 ATK
10 DAM
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)
Mettle (When this unit re-rolls an attack or save, increase the roll by 4.)

Magic 1, Magic Regeneration 1
Master Magician 2

Commander Effect:
Allies named “Joyju Apprentice” gain Magic Regeneration 1 and Mettle.

KINWAN MASTER
Unit, Neutral
Dwarf Monk
26 points
50 HP
16 DEF
11 ATK
10 DAM
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Blind Rage (When this unit attacks, it may attack at -4 attack and +10 damage.)

Magic 3
Magic Strike (Magic 1, replaces attacks, make two attacks.)
Magic Sweep (Magic 1, replaces attacks, attack each enemy in the same zone once.)

Commander Effect:
Allies named “Kinwan Apprentice” gain Blind Rage and Magic Sweep.

GREAT SHARK
Unit, Neutral
Fish Beast
28 points
90 HP
21 DEF
14 ATK
30 DAM
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Home (This unit may be deployed in any zone with an “Ocean” location instead of your city zone.)
Ocean Dependence (If this unit is in a zone without an “Ocean” location, it is defeated.)
Ram Attack (Replaces attacks, move up to two zones then attack at 20 damage.)
Giant Jaw Attack (Replaces turn, make an attack at 50 damage.)

TARAGON AQUAWYRM
Unit, Neutral
Fish Beast
30 points
110 HP
17 DEF
8 ATK
30 DAM
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Cloak (When this unit is at an “Ocean” location, it gains Greater Stealth (This unit cannot be attacked or targeted except by a unit in the same zone and when there are no allies without Greater Stealth in this unit’s zone.).)

WEAPONS MASTER
Unit, Neutral
Human Warrior
38 points
60 HP
20 DEF
12 ATK
20 DAM
Many Weapons (This unit may make extra attacks equal to its current HP divided by 10 instead of moving.)

NEPTUNE, GUARDIAN OF THE OCEAN
Unit, Neutral
Fish Avatar
47 points
140 HP
21 DEF
14 ATK
20 DAM
Unique
Swimming (This unit is unaffected by the effect of “Ocean”.)
Ocean Cloak (When this unit is at an “Ocean” location, it gains Greater Stealth (This unit cannot be attacked or targeted except by a unit in the same zone and when there are no allies without Greater Stealth in this unit’s zone.).)
Ocean Home (This unit may be deployed in any zone with an “Ocean” location instead of your city zone.)
Seadweller (This unit gains Immobile (This unit cannot move.) if it is not in a zone with an “Ocean” location.)

Magic 4
Sea Minion Summon (Magic 1, Search your deck for one unit with Swimming and add it to your hand. You may then spend build points equal to its build cost to recruit it in the same zone as this unit.)
Blizzard (Magic 2, range 1, replaces attacks, 10 damage and target is activated, save 11.)
Storm (Magic 2, replaces attacks, 20 damage to target unit in a zone with an “Ocean” location.)

Commander Effect:
Allies with Swimming may gain Ocean Cloak. (This commander effect is optional.)

MASTER OF BOTH SCHOOLS
Unit, Neutral
Elf Dwarf Monk
50 points
60 HP
19 DEF
13 ATK
10 DAM
Double Attack (This unit may make one extra attack instead of moving.)
Twin Attack (When this unit makes an attack, it may make one additional attack against the same target.)
Blind Rage (When this unit attacks, it may attack at -4 attack and +10 damage.)
Dodge (When this unit is hit by an attack, it takes no damage, save 16.)
Mettle (When this unit re-rolls an attack or save, increase the roll by 4.)
Resourceful (When this unit fails a save, you may reroll that save once.)

Magic 3, Magic Regeneration 1
Master Magician 2
Magic Strike (Magic 1, replaces attacks, make two attacks.)
Magic Sweep (Magic 1, replaces attacks, attack each enemy in the same zone once.)

Commander Effect:
Monk followers gain +4 attack and +4 defense. This unit gains +2 attack and +2 defense for each unit benefiting from this unit’s commander effect.

IMPERIAL TAXATION
Battle, Kingdom
5 points
Each time your opponent spends build points this cycle, your opponent loses 1 build point and you gain 1 build point.

IMPERIAL OPPRESSION
Battle, Kingdom
8 points
Your opponent loses 10 build points.

TACTICAL ASSAULT
Battle, Kingdom
15 points
Allied Commander’s Commander Effects have unlimited range until the end of the round.

STRATEGIC MOVE
Battle, Kingdom
8 points
Play this card only at the end of a round. Move one allied unit up to 3 zones.

FOR THE KINGDOM!
Battle, Kingdom
6 points
When a allied unit deals damage to the opponent’s city this round, deal an additional 10 damage to it.

FLANKING SUPPORT
Battle, Alliance
4 points
Play this card when one of your units declares an attack. Activate an ally within a range of 1 who can legally target the same unit to give the attack +10 damage.

BOYCOTT
Battle, Alliance
3 points
Your opponent loses 5 build points.

QUICK DODGE
Battle, Alliance
8 points
Play this card only when one of your units takes damage. That unit takes no damage

MASTER ASSAULT
Battle, Mage Guild
10 points
You can only activate this card when you control three Unique Mage Guild units with “Master” in its name in the same zone. Activate them and pay 2 Magic from each of them to deal 50 damage to your opponent’s capital or deal 100 damage to target non-capital unit in any zone.

COUNTER TACTIC
Battle, Mage Guild
9 points
Play this card only when your opponent plays a Battle card. Negate the Battle card.

INSTANT DEATH
Battle, Underworld
80 points
Defeat target non-capital unit.

HEART ATTACK
Battle, Underworld
45 points
Deal 50 damage to target non-capital unit.

LOCUST SWARM
Battle, Barbarian
20 points
This card may be in Underworld and Mage Guild decks. Destroy one location in any zone.

FEAR OF TARG
Battle, Barbarian
35 points
Activate all of your opponent’s units with a save of 11.

HORROR GATE
Battle, Subspace
14 points
All allied Horrors recruited this round can be recruited for half of its build cost.

FLOOD
Battle, Neutral
60 points
For each zone on the field that does not have “Ocean” as its location, search your deck for one “Ocean” and put it into play on that zone.

JOYJITSU
Battle, Neutral
4 points
Play this card when one of your units are hit by an attack. Take no damage from the attack with a save of 16.

KINWANTE
Battle, Neutral
4 points
Play this card when one of your units declares an attack. That unit gets -4 attack and +10 damage for the attack.

BLOCK
Battle, Neutral
5 points
Play this card only when one of your units takes damage. Reduce that damage by 10.

FIRST AID
Battle, Neutral
7 points
Heal target unit by 10.

IMPERIAL COMMAND CENTER
Location, Kingdom
27 points
Commanders at this location’s commander effects have unlimited range.

IMPERIAL FORTRESS
Location, Kingdom
26 points
Allied Kingdom units at this location gain Damage Reduction 10 (When this unit takes damage, reduce that damage by 10.).

MASTER’S CHAMBERS
Location, Mage Guild
10 points
At the end of the round, all units at this location with “Master” in its name with a Magic rating gain 2 Magic.

RESISTANCE HQ
Location, Alliance
6 points
Kingdom units at this location gets -2 attack and -2 defense. Allied Alliance units at this location gets +2 attack and +2 defense.

ALLIANCE KNIGHT HQ
Location, Alliance
5 points
When a unit with “Lorenzo Maydon” in its name is at this location, all allied units at this location except for units with “Lorenzo Maydon” in its name gain +4 attack and +4 defense.

STRIKE BASE
Location, Barbarian
11 points
Allies within a range of 1 of this location gain Mobile Attack (Replaces turn, move this unit one zone, make an attack, then move this unit one more zone.).

GIGANTIC WALL
Location, Barbarian
13 points
This location has an HP of 60 and can be attacked and destroyed. All enemy units (including Flying units) can not advance past this location. Allied Barbarian units at this location gain +2 defense.

HAUNTED MANSION
Location, Underworld
9 points
Undead units may be recruited at this location instead of the city zone. All Undead units at this location who fail their save with Revive are returned to their owner’s hand instead of being destroyed. All Undead units gain +2 attack and +2 defense.

OCEAN
Location, Neutral
10 points
You may have an unlimited amount of this card in your deck for deck-building purposes. Non-Flying units attempting to move into this location get -1 speed. Units who end their move in this zone take 10 damage.

MEDAL OF HONOR
Equipment, Kingdom
3 points
This equipment can only be equipped to a Unique unit. The equipped unit gains the commander effect “Allies gain +2 attack and +2 defense.”

MASTER STAFF
Equipment, Mage Guild
5 points
This equipment can only be equipped to a unit with “Master” in its name with a Magic rating. At the end of the round, the unit equipped with this equipment gains 1 Magic.

SWORD OF LORENZO MAYDON
Equipment, Alliance
9 points
This equipment can only be equipped to a unit with “Lorenzo Maydon” in its name. The equipped unit gets +2 attack and gains Resourceful (When this unit fails a save, you may reroll that save once.)

CLUB OF PUNISHING
Equipment, Barbarian
20 points
The equipped unit gets +20 damage.

CLOAK OF THE UNDEAD KING
Equipment, Underworld
8 points
This equipment can only be equipped to a unit with Undead or with Necromancy. When the equipped unit defeats an enemy unit, search your deck for one “Skeleton” and put it into play in the same zone as the defeated unit.

SWORD OF DARKNESS
Equipment, Underworld
16 points
The equipped unit gains Life Drain (When this unit deals damage with an attack, roll a save of 11. If it succeeds, this unit heals damage equal to the damage dealt.) and Revival (When this unit is defeated, bring it back to life at 10 HP with a save of 11.).

HELM OF COURAGE
Equipment, Neutral
3 points
This equipment can only be equipped to Goblin units. The equipped unit gains Blind Rage (When this unit attacks, it may attack at -4 attack and +10 damage.) and Charging Assault (This unit can move up to 2 zones and still attack.).

IMPROVED BATTLE SUIT
Equipment, Neutral
13 points
The equipped unit gets +3 attack and +3 defense.