FLARE VERSION
Quite some time ago, I became enamored with a Pokemon parody known as Pokebattles (www.pokebattles.com) by Jason Ross. Much like others, I decided to write a few of my own, which turned into my own "Version", Flare Version. While a lot of it was amateurish due to my young age, I've decided to re-write it (and thereby improving the quality) and post it here on my blog for others to enjoy. You can get to the complete Flare Version archive here.
That's right. These five battles chronicle the last days of Hoenn, as surprising villain (and a not-so-surprising one) rise up and accidentally trigger its destruction. As with the destruction of Kanto, however, Flare Version lives on. Any survivors of this apocalypse are teleported to an even stranger region called Sinnoh. Finally, in Battle 75, something happens that may change the Flare Version universe forever!
Narrator text
Player text
God text
Battle #71, Dangerous Awakening
Location: Evil Lair
Player: Supermon [3-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATTATA)
The Mon-screen led me here to search for the kidnapped May...
However, after hours of wondering, all I've found are these pathetic Team Aqua and Magma grunts with Zigzagoon...!
NARRATOR suggests to KEEP LOOKING!
SUPERMON may FIND what it is LOOKING for EVENTUALLY!
Ah, the return of the Red Text! Something bad must be about to happen very soon...
LARGE IRON DOOR appeared!
Hm! This is a suspicious large iron door!
I suspect this is what I've been looking for all this time! Super Open!
SUPERMON used SUPER OPEN!
LARGE IRON DOOR was OPENED!
Wonderful!
ARCHIE and MAXIE are INSIDE!
Aha! The mastermind criminals!
MAXIE: Archie...!
ARCHIE: Maxie...!
Or... maybe I interrupted something very intimate?
MAXIE: Huh? Who are you?!
ARCHIE: ... He looks faster than a Raging Slowpoke!
MAXIE: Yes...! And higher than a Smoking Druggie!
RANDOM TEAM MEMBERS: And more powerful than a Splashing Magikarp!
MAXIE: It's a Caterpie!
ARCHIE: It's a flying loser!
RANDOM TEAM MEMBERS: No! It's the one... the only... SUPERMON!
...Glad I'm well known.
I'm here to rescue May!
MAXIE: May?
ARCHIE: Who is she?!
You kidnapped her from Evergrande City! Don't play dumb, troublemakers!
MAXIE and ARCHIE insist that have NO IDEA what you are TALKING ABOUT!
Hmm... well...
MAY appeared and is RUNNING towards YOU!
MAY: Help, help! They kidnapped me!
Aha! So the truth comes out!
ARCHIE: Huh?!
MAXIE: I've never seen that girl before in my life!
ARCHIE: We were just trying to have a team fight between Team Aqua and Team Magma!
Suuuure, evildoer!
May, come over here where it's safe, with me!
MAY: Okay!
MAY ran towards SUPERMON!
Now... time to deal with these two!
MAY: Yes... but first...!
MAY put RED ORB and BLUE ORB on PEDESTAL by SUPERMON!
Huh? What are those?
ARCHIE: My Blue Orb!
MAXIE: My Red Orb!
What's going on here?!
MAY: Hah! Supermon, you fool! I stool these Orbs from Team Magma and Team Aqua to fulfill my own evil plan. Two God Pokemon will not be awakened to serve my whims! Mwahahahahahahahah!
So... you're the villain here?!
MAY: Technically they're villains too, but they're also morons.
... I see.
Wild GROUDON and KYOGRE appeared!
Oh... crap!
Wait a minute, aren't they supposed to be mortal enemies?
KYOGRE: Yes, but we hate Heroes more.
GROUDON: Indeed. Last time we awoke, a kid named Brenden captured us!
... They can talk?
MAY: Apparently!
MAY ran behind KYOGRE and GROUDON!
MAY: Now, my God Pokemon! Attack Supermon! And those two idiots, too!
What about the other Team members?
TEAM MEMBERS have already RAN AWAY!
Can I do that too?
Couldn't escape!
Damn it!
Wild GROUDON wants to fight!
Wild KYOGRE wants to fight!
I guess we better team up against a greater evil, Maxie and Archie!
MAXIE and ARCHIE agreed!
Ally MAXIE wants to fight!
Ally ARCHIE wants to fight!
We may have a fighting chance!
MAY: Ha... that was almost funny. Anyway, I have other things to attend to. I'll leave you with Kyogre and Groudon. Toodles!
MAY ran away!
Coward!
No matter, I'll fight these two and be victorious!
You have no chance to win! Get'm, SUPERMON!
Ally MAXIE sent out ZIGZAGOON!
Ally ARCHIE sent out ZIGZAGOON!
Gee... what great allies those two are.
I'll have to make up for them with my Superpowers!
SUPERMON used SUPERPOWER!
It's super super!
Um, and?
And WHAT?
Did it... do anything?
NOT at ALL!
Damn it!
Ally ZIGZAGOON used TACKLE!
Ally ZIGZAGOON used TACKLE!
Great... we're never going to win at this rate.
Wild KYOGRE used ICE BEAM!
Ally ZIGZAGOON fainted!
Wild GROUDON used FIRE BLAST!
Ally ZIGZAGOON fainted!
Yep, yep... definitely not.
Ally MAXIE sent out CAMERUPT!
Ally ARCHIE sent out SHARPEDO!
At least they are using Pokemon worth a damn, now.
Let's try... my X-Ray attack!
SUPERMON used X-RAY!
SUPERMON can see KYOGRE's BONES!
Hm, I see! Very interesting... I must record this data into my Pokedex!
POKeDEX: Welcome, DANNY!
Aw shit! I forgot my Pokedex has a personalized startup message!
MAXIE: So your secret identity is...
ARCHIE: Danny?!
Um... no...?
ARCHIE and MAXIE believe you!
Uh, good. Yes, good thing you guys are morons.
Ally CAMERUPT used TACKLE!
Ally SHARPEDO used TACKLE!
Damn it, guys! Is that the ONLY move you guys taught your Pokemon?!
ARCHIE: What do you expect? It's such an amazing move!
MAXIE: At least we are dealing damage!
Why you...!
Wild GROUDON used EARTHQUAKE!
Ally CAMERUPT fainted!
Ally SHARPEDO fainted!
SUPERMON fainted!
Wha...?
BATTLE used END!
Battle #72, Nonsensical Tactics
Location: Lillycove City
Player: Special Vikks [7-8]
(Pokemon Lineup: WAR TURTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])
Hmm... it's been awhile since we've done anything...
Chris, Pizzaman, get your lazy asses up!
SPECIALVIKKS used WAKE-UP SLAP!
CHRIS and PIZZAMAN woke up!
I don't quite remember what we were doing last... I think it had something to do with being defeated by Yami James and the Moto Cult guys.
PIZZAMAN: Oh dear! All our gold and pizza-making supplies are missing!
Huh? Wait... all my Pokemon-related items are missing too!
That bastard stole our stuff!
CHRIS: Let's go get it back... no one messes with Chris and lives to tell the tale!
Hmm... but last time we were defeated by a single attack from Yami James. We should probably train before confronting them again.
After all, it's not like we know where he is...
MALE VOICE coming from MALL: Hello sweet thing, wanna hook up later?
PUNCH is heard from INSIDE!
OTHER MALE VOICE coming from MALL: NO! Stop hitting on me!
Okay, I stand corrected. We do know where he is.
Either way, we should train first.
PIZZAMAN agreed!
CHRIS agreed reluctantly!
Location: Route to the West of Lillycove City
HEART appeared!
Gah! Could it be... my old heart?!
HEART. Blub... that's right! ... blub... Now... blub... Give me all your money! ... Blub!
Never! Get back in my chest where you belong!
HEART: Blub... then I am forced... blub... to attack!
Enemy HEART wants to fight!
Bring it on!
Ally PIZZAMAN wants to fight!
Ally CHRIS wants to fight!
My heart... you will die a horrible death for opposing me!
HEART sent out POLICEDOG!
Ally PIZZAMAN sent out SAUSAGEPIZZA!
Ally CHRIS sent out RALTS!
Go, my trusted War Turtle!
Get'm, WAR TURTLE!
HEART: This battle... blub... seems uneven... blub... Policedog, ... blub... use that new technique I taught you... blub!
Huh? New technique?
Enemy POLICEDOG used HEART GOUGE!
What? Enemy POLICEDOG is losing its HEART!
Um... wouldn't that... be a bad thing?
Enemy POLICEDOG is now HEARTLESS!
DOGHEART joined Enemy POLICEDOG!
And the Police Dog isn't... dead?
NOPE!
Enemy POLICEDOG feels FINE!
I see you have somehow mastered the mystery of your own survival, Heart!
HEART: Blub... indeed!
Enemy DOGHEART used BLOOD SQUIRT!
BLOOD was SQUIRT into Ally RALTS' EYES!
Ew...
Ally RALTS fainted!
A disgustingly powerful attack!
Ally CHRIS sent out BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON!
We have to fight back!
Use Hydro Pump, War Turtle!
WAR TURTLE used HYDRO PUMP!
WAR TURTLE is PUMPING the HYDROS!
What... WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
NARRATOR is running out of PUNS!
Then maybe you should like... just allow my attack to do what it is INTENDED to do?!
NAH!
I mean not to brag... but how about something like... "Critical hit!" or "It's super effective!" or "Enemy DOGHEART fainted!"
NARRATOR doesn't find SPECIALVIKKS' SUGGESTIONS very FUNNY!
Sigh...
Ally BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON used ROAR!
It's super effective!
Err... on which one?
DOGHEART!
That still doesn't even make sense! Roar doesn't even do damage... and Dog heart doesn't even have any EARS!
NARRATOR dislikes your CONSTANT COMPLAINING!
NARRATOR was TRYING to THROW you a BONE!
Well, throw away then!
Enemy DOGHEART fainted!
I'll take it.
Ally SAUSAGEPIZZA used GROWL!
It's super effective!
What?! How does a Pizza GROWL?
NARRATOR used THUNDER!
OWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Okay, I'll stop complaining! Sheesh!
Enemy POLICEDOG fainted!
HEART: Your tactics... blub... are flawless! Except ... blub... yours, Vikks! ... Blub...
... Sigh.
HEART: I stand here, defeated... blub...
Alright... so, give me all your money now.
HEART: I stand here, defeated... blub...
Um... your money... and Pokemon... everything... now.
HEART: I stand here, defeated... blub...
Damn it! Why do NPCs just stand there saying the same thing over and over once defeated?!
HEART: I stand here, defeated... blub...
Whatever. I don't have time for this.
I'm feeling more powerful now. Let's go confront Yami James again.
PIZZAMAN and CHRIS agreed!
Wait a minute... do you see that over there?
PIZZAMAN: Why yes! What is that...?
It looks like... a tidal wave...?
BATTLE used END!
Battle #73, Not According to Plan
Location: Evil Lair
Player: Supermon [3-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATTATA)
Huh? Where am I? What happened?!
SUPERMON is TIED UP while HOVERING above BURNING HOT LAVA!
Um... uh oh!
What happened to Maxie and Archie?
MAXIE and ARCHIE are also TIED UP and are NEXT TO YOU!
Oh... Hi, guys.
MAXIE: Yo.
I take it that the battle didn't go well after I fainted.
ARCHIE: Yep. We were pretty much gone after that.
So... what did I miss?
MAXIE: Just May tying us up and saying how she's going to slowly dip us into the lava.
Um... Yes, that's rather bad.
MAY: Ah, Supermon! You have awakened, great!
May, listen to me! You don't have to continue with this evil!
MAY: Oh, yes, I think I do! Perhaps your death will attract Sal's attention!
Um, what?
MAY: Unfortunately for you, I've learned not to monolouge my entire plans, thus wasting time and allowing Superheroes like you to escape. Time to drop the the line!
This isn't good...
MAY used LEVER!
CAPTAIN HOENN came out of the SHADOWS and pushed MAY aside!
MAY: What is this?!
Captain Hoenn?!
Thank god! Right in the nick of time!
CAPTAIN HOENN: I've got your back, partner!
CAPTAIN HOENN used CUT!
SUPERMON was CUT free!
Thanks, partner!
Wait a minute, what happened to Archie and Maxie?
ARCHIE and MAXIE didn't know FLY so they FELL into LAVA!
What? Why wasn't that narrated?
I could've saved them!
It happened TOO FAST for the NARRATOR to NARRATE!
Ugh... well, they were evildoers anyway... They got what was ultimately coming to them.
Now to the battle at hand.
MAY: You fools! Kyogre and Groudon have joined me! You stand no chance!
MAY wants to fight!
Grr! C'mon, Captain Hoenn! Let's take her down!
Ally CAPTAIN HOENN wants to fight!
Good!
Get'm, SUPERMON!
Ally CAPTAIN HOENN sent out CAPTAIN HOENN!
MAY sent out KYOGRE!
Hmm! Kyogre is a strong one, we must use our most powerful attacks!
CAPTAIN HOENN used THROW SHIELD!
But CAPTAIN HOENN barely got SHIELD to go a few INCHES!
Uh... you know, Captain Hoenn, you seem to be getting a bit chubby. You should probably work out a little more...
CAPTAIN HOENN said you SHOULDN'T TALK!
Err... perhaps.
Here goes nothing!
SUPERMON used FISTS OF FOAM!
Enemy KYOGRE ate the attack!
What?!
How are we supposed to defeat such powerful Pokemon?!
Enemy KYOGRE used SPLASH!
Hah! That will do nothing!
SPLASH caused TIDAL WAVE!
Oh wait... uh oh...
SUPERMON and CAPTAIN HOENN were sent FLYING from the CAVE by the WAVE!
SUPERMON fainted!
Location: Ruins, 3 days later
SUPERMON woke up!
Ugh... my head...
CAPTAIN HOENN: Get up partner... you've been out for nearly three days!
God, I really hate fainting... I always seem to miss something important. What is going on?
CAPTAIN HOENN: May has just taken over all of Hoenn... she is looking for me.
Huh? Why you?
I thought she was after that Sal guy...
CAPTAIN HOENN revealed itself to be SAL!
Oh my!
SAL pissed itself!
SAL: Damn it!
Ew...
SAL: Anyway... I must defend my homeland from my rival! It must be done, at the cost of anything!
So... where is that Rikks guy you were traveling with?
SAL: He is being held prisoner as we speak and is being used as May's sex slave. Marle and Vick are also being held prisoner!
Well, at least he's a sex slave to a female this time...
YAMI JAMES: Hey! Don't be hating becuase I'm gay!
Wait, since when was he here?
YAMI JAMES: I've been here the whole time!
RAMSLY: And me too, sir!
Huh, Ramsly? You two know eachother?
RAMSLY: Yes, sir! It was amazing... we finally found eachother after our long hard quest to find a partner...!
YAMI JAMES: Mmm... Long and hard...!
Okay, okay, ENOUGH of that!
Who else is here?
DOZENS OF PEOPLE is here!
Hmm... at least we have a Task force handy.
What's the plan?
SAL put on MASK!
SAL was renamed CAPTAIN HOENN!
CAPTAIN HOENN: We will go attack May's castle at Evergrande City at dawn! Can we count on you, Supermon?
Of course!
BATTLE used END!
Battle #74, Genetic "Engineering"
Location: Chris's hideout
Player: Chris [8-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRENCHWHORE, BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON, RALTS, DARKMAGICIAN [dead])
Mwahahahahahahahahahahah!
CHRIS is laughing MANIACALLY!
Indeed, my evil plain is working perfectly...
While everyone is focused on May, it gives me the perfect opportunity to focus on my own diabolical plans! But first to take on the role...
CHRIS used SUIT!
CHRIS was renamed PROF. DOOM!
Now here I am, the great Professor Doom!
NARRATOR thinks it is LAME how EVERYONE seems to have ALTERNATE IDENTITIES these DAYS!
Say it is lame all you want... but the world will be mine shortly!
Now to begin my evil plans!
NARRATOR thinks your EVIL PLAN looks like a GAMEBOY!
You are quite perceptive, Narrator!
Have you noticed which cartridge I am using?
NARRATOR reads ACTION REPLAY!
Oh yes indeed! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!
And with it, I will generate the most powerful Pokemon to ever live...!
MEWTWO?
What? No...
ARCEUS?
Try again.
MISSINGNO.?
Close except not really. I'll just tell you...
A fully EV-trained, perfect IV-maxed Suicune!
SUICUNE is the MOST POWERFUL POKeMON?!
Suicine is absolutely amazing if properly trained, competitively speaking! It's Smogon-approved!
It just involves EV and IV maxing!
NARRATOR wants to KNOW what EVs and IVs are!
Of course a mere Narrator like yourself wouldn't know what they are... They are hidden values that determine the final stats of a Pokemon!
Manipulating these values can produce the Pokemon with the best stats...
...
Let's see... 07E00092... 12CADA8C...
Is PROF. DOOM done YET?!
Yes, it is done!
PROF. DOOM used the PC!
PROF. DOOM withdrew SUICUNE!
Ah! Ahaha! Mwahahahahahhhhh!
More than 300 in each defense... This will win my many battles!
NARRATOR thinks PROF. DOOM is a CHEATER!
Believe what you will, but it changes nothing! With this super-powered Pokemon, I will easily defeat May and take rule myself...!
MAY will not be EASY to DEFEAT!
Oh?
MAY has GROUDON and KYOGRE under her CONTROL!
WHAT? She uses Ubers?! But that's forbidden! Smogon would not approve!
NARRATOR wants to KNOW what an UBER is!
Sheesh! Shows you how little Nintendo knows about their own product. I don't have time to explain! Just log onto Smogon.com sometime...
I'm off to Evergrande Castle!
Location: Evergrande Castle
CAPTAIN HOENN fainted!
MAY: Finally... the last of the resistance has been crushed! I am the Supreme Ruler... the ultimate Pokemon trainer!
The battle is not over yet, May!
MAY wants to KNOW who the HELL you ARE!
Oh me?
I'm the magnificent genius Professor Doom! And I'm here to take your empire for myself!
MAY said she is NOT INTERESTED in buying DRUGS!
I'm serious! You're going down!
MAY laughs at you!
When you are defeated, you will no longer be able to laugh!
MAY wants to fight!
Good... and now you will perish! Go, Suicune!
Get'm, SUICUNE!
MAY sent out GROUDON!
MAY: Groudon's effect will trigger a permanent Sunny Day, lowering the power of your Suicune's Water attacks!
I'm okay with this for now... Suicune, use Calm Mind!
SUICUNE used CALM MIND!
SUICUNE's MIND is now CALM!
And...?
And WHAT?
What about its Special Attack and Special Defense?
What ABOUT THEM?
...Weak.
MAY: It doesn't work that way in Flare Version, Doomy! Now be defeated!
Enemy GROUDON used SOLAR BEAM!
Enemy GROUDON is using SOLAR POWER as an ALTERNATE ENERGY SOURCE!
It works both ways, though, May!
This is your chance, Suicune, Surf!
SUICUNE used SURF!
SUICUNE surfed AWAY!
Wait... no! How dare you defy me!
NARRATOR points out that SUICUNE did EXACTLY what you TOLD it to DO!
Both you and it knew what I meant!
Ugh, go me!
The enemy is a PokeGod! Get'm, PROF. DOOM!
Take this!
PROF. DOOM used DOOM PUNCH!
It's super doomful!
Indeed! Feel my wrath!
Enemy GROUDON's DOOM is building!
Which means...
Enemy GROUDON is DOOMED!
Enemy GROUDON left to PLAY DOOM 2!
Ah, a great game!
MAY sent out KYOGRE!
Enemy KYOGRE used SUPER POWERFUL WATER MOVE!
Eh?
PROF. DOOM was hardly AFFECTED!
Fear my power!
INSTEAD, the REST OF HOENN was COMPLETELY DESTROYED!
Err...
PROF. DOOM needs air, badly!
WHAT? Even the air?!
YES!
Cough... I can't... die here...!
MAY died!
KYOGRE died!
Ugh... must use... Teleportation device... Ughh.....!
PROF. DOOM used TELEPORT!
Location: Sinnoh
What the hell is this place?!
BATTLE used END!
Battle #75, Passion of the Rikks
Location: Mt. Coronet's peak, Sinnoh
Player: Flare Rikks [21-20-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD [dead], 1,000 UFOS)
What the...?
How did I get here? Where's May?
HOENN has been DESTROYED!
MAY is DEAD!
FLARE VERSION has moved to SINNOH!
WHAT? You've destroyed another region... and killed off the main antagonist?!
NARRATOR points out that neither VILLAINS nor REGIONS seem to LAST LONG in FLARE VERSION!
True... fair enough.
PROF. DOOM appeared!
At least it didn't take you that long to find a replacement for May.
PROF. DOOM insists it is not EVIL!
Oh?
Well, with a name like Professor Doom, one would think otherwise.
PROF. DOOM can't HELP what its MOTHER named it!
I guess not. What do you want?
PROF. DOOM said a GREAT EVIL has entered the FLARE VERSION UNIVERSE!
Great evil's been here for awhile, buddy.
PROF. DOOM said it could STOP it if you HELP HIM get STRONGER!
Hmm... You're clearly an individual with questionable motives, but I see no reason not to trust you.
I can help you with my Evolve attack!
FLARIKKS used EVOLVE!
What? PROF. DOOM is evolving!
PROF. DOOM evolved into DOOMBOT!
There we go!
DOOMBOT used ENCORE!
Eh, I guess one more couldn't hurt!
FLARIKKS used EVOLVE!
What? DOOMBOT is evolving!
DOOMBOT evolved into GIANT DOOMBOT!
Wow... you're really big now!
GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPRABIDMONKEY appeared!
....AAAAAH!! Run for your lives!
Couldn't escape!
Crap!
GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPRABIDMONKEY: WOW! BIG MACHINE. IF I EAT, I WILL BE EVEN MORE POWERFUL!
GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPRABIDMONKEY used DEVOUR!
Nice knowing ya, Doomy...!
GIANT DOOMBOT shook off GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPRABIDMONKEY!
Wait... he wasn't devoured?
GIANT DOOMBOT used LASER BEAM!
GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPRABIDMONKEY died a HORRIBLE and PAINFUL death!
Wow, nice!
This must've been the "great evil" you were talking about... even though its been around for awhile, not doing much.
GIANT DOOMBOT said that IT actually is the GREAT EVIL it was TALKING ABOUT!
Oh uh... Oh crap!
What have I done?!
FLARIKKS gave the NARRATOR an EXCUSE to KILL OFF a CHARACTER that was NEGLECTED due to the WEBMASTER being BORED of it!
Um, outside of being a Plot device used to kill off that Rabid Monkey thing.
GIANT DOOMBOT said THANK YOU for ALL of your HELP!
No fair! You tricked me!
GIANT DOOMBOT said it was SURPRISINGLY EASY!
GIANT DOOMBOT wonders WHY it WAITED so long to do it in the FIRST PLACE!
Huh...? You've been around for awhile then?
Hmm... I know only one character so evil... Chris?!
GIANT DOOMBOT: No! Now that you know my identity, you can't live!
GIANT DOOMBOT wants to fight!
Grr!
Well I'm the main hero of Flare Version... I can't lose! Go, Charmander!
Go, CHARMANDER!
GIANT DOOMBOT sent out GIANT DOOMBOT!
Okay, Charmander, use--
CHARMANDER fainted!
Wait, what?! How?! He never used an attack!
IT doesn't NEED to use an ATTACK!
IT can DO whatever it WANTS!
THAT is just how POWERFUL that IT is!
But... but... he's the bad guy!
IT exclaims that it is NOT a BAD GUY!
IT joined GIANT DOOMBOT!
Wait... "It" was a person?
IT is a POKeMON, ACTUALLY!
GIANT DOOMBOT withdrew GIANT DOOMBOT!
GIANT DOOMBOT sent out IT!
What exactly is an "It"?
IT is RIGHT in FRONT of YOU!
FLARIKKS should be able to CLEARLY SEE what IT looks like!
Sigh... I hate you Narrator.
NARRATOR loves being HATED!
I know. Well, let's see what Gates can do!
Go for it, UNDEADGATES!
Lame pun.
Either way, use Shadow Ball, Undead Gates!
UNDEADGATES used SHADOW BALL!
UNDEADGATES rolled into a BALL, making its SHADOW a BALL!
Still hate you, Narrator.
Enemy IT used A MOVE!
Care to be more descriptive, Narrator?
NOT REALLY!
Enemy IT's MOVE made UNDEADGATES faint!
Grr!
Well, you know, I could fight you myself but... why fight myself when I have an entire Army?!
Go, 1,000 UFOS!
What do you say to this, Doomy?!
GIANT DOOMBOT didn't KNOW you had an ARMY!
Well I do!
What are you going to do about it?
GIANT DOOMBOT wants your ARMY!
Huh...? Well it's too bad... it's mine.
Enemy GIANT DOOMBOT used 1,000 POKeBALLS!
WHAT? I block the ball!
FLARIKKS blocked ONE POKeBALL!
999 UFOS was caught!
What the...? NOOOOOOOOO!!
GIANT DOOMBOT said THANK YOU, AGAIN for making it STRONGER!
This couldn't get any worse...
What? 1,000 UFOS is devolving!
1,000 UFOS devolved into UFO!
I stand corrected.
GIANT DOOMBOT said not to WORRY because you won't be STANDING much LONGER!
GIANT DOOMBOT withdrew IT!
GIANT DOOMBOT sent out 999 UFOS!
Grr! C'mon my one Ufo...! Hang in there!
Enemy 999 UFOS used 999 LASER BEAMS!
UFO fainted!
Phew... only fainted?
FLARIKKS has a point!
Oh wait... no I don't!
UFO died!
Damn it! I'll fight you myself, then!
You've been progressively making the enemy stronger rather than doing any damage! Get'm, FLARIKKS!
I will not be defeated by a villain!
GIANT DOOMBOT is LAUGHING at YOU!
GIANT DOOMBOT withdrew 999 UFOS!
GIANT DOOMBOT sent out GIANT DOOMBOT!
I'll use my evolve attack... On myself!
FLARIKKS used EVOLVE!
What? FLARIKKS is evolving!
FLARIKKS evolved into HERO RIKKS!
That's right! Flare Version hero, right here, baby!
GIANT DOOMBOT used EVIL SMASH!
It doesn't affect HERO RIKKS!
That's because Flare Heroes have Protection from Evil, baby!
GIANT DOOMBOT curses!
Time to get even stronger... Makes me wonder why I didn't try this earlier...
HERORIKKS used EVOLVE!
What? HERO RIKKS is evolving!
HERO RIKKS evolved into MESSIAH RIKKS!
Hah! Now I'm the Messiah! The savior of Flare Version!
GIANT DOOMBOT used CRUCIFY!
Uh oh...
MESSIAH RIKKS was NAILED to a CROSS!
Ugh! The pain!!
GIANT DOOMBOT: Heh, heh. Have fun "hanging out". Bye!
GIANT DOOMBOT ran away!
Location: 3 days later
Ugh... this is... the end... it is finished...!
MESSIAH RIKKS died!
Location: Somewhere in Sinnoh
Player: Special Vikks [8-8]
(Pokemon Lineup: WAR TURTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])
SPECIALVIKKS died!
Huh? BUT WHY!
SPECIALVIKKS doesn't have a HEART!
SO?! I'm the rival... this can only happen if... if...
THAT'S RIGHT!
Rikks is dead?
CORRECT, so JUST DIE!
SPECIALVIKKS is RUINING the EFFECT!
No... I cannot die! Graahahaaaah!
What? SPECIALVIKKS' SPIRIT is evolving!
Huh?
SPECIALVIKKS evolved into SATAN VIKKS!
Wow, cool!
But SATAN VIKKS is still DEAD!
Darn...
STOP TALKING!
Fine... at least I get to play as the Devil!
BATTLE used END!
FLARE VERSION Player Database
Flare Rikks [21-21-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD [dead], UFO [dead])
Special Vikks [8-8] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: WAR TURTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])
Chris the Giant Doombot [10-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRENCHWHORE, BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON, RALTS, DARKMAGICIAN [dead], IT, 999 UFOS)
Yami Yugi [1-2-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: GAIAKNIGHT, SUMMONEDSKULL, KURIBOH)
Jr. Trainer [0-2] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: SANDSHREW [dead])
Rikks' Mom [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CUTIEPIE)
Brock's Dad [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GEOCITIES [dead])
Reece Benlier [4-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: THREETALES, LUCARIO [dead])
Jar Jar Binks [3-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GHOST)
Yami James [4-5]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING)
Jessie of Team Rocket [2-6] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: KOBRA)
Meowth [0-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Da Zombie Man [3-5-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: LUGIA [dead])
Seto Kaiba [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HITOTSU-ME-GIANT, JUDGEMAN [dead])
Random Pilot [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: JET)
Robotor the Robot [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGNEMITE, ROBOT [dead])
Schoolboy Danny [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATATTA)
Gym Leader Molds [1-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: GLOOM, VILEPLUME)
Gymleader [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GRASS [dead])
Grassly, Little Girl [no record yet] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Police [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: GUN)
Professor Oak [1-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: PIKACHU)
Mr. Psychic [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: JYNX)
Old Woman [0-1] [dead]
(Poekmon Lineup: none)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FEMALEMR.MIME, KADABRA, ABRA)
Youngster Duggy [0-3] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGIKARP)
Master Sorcerer [0-0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MINOMAGE)
Death Star 2 Spaceship Rabid Monkey of Doom [1-2-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Pizza Man [3-1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHEESEPIZZA [dead], PEPPERONIPIZZA [dead], SAUSAGEPIZZA, MUSHROOMPIZZA [dead])
Vikkz a Lot [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Cris [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HISDAD [dead])
Pizaman [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: TOWER)
Vikks' Heart [4-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: POLICEDOG, DOGHEART)
Michael Vick [6-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL, ROTTWEILER)
Sal [4-8]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])
Mike "Mark" Crotch [no record yet] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Flare [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEMON [dead])
Grim Reaper [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEATH [dead], PERSIAN)
SmarterChild [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Champion Lance [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DRAGONITE, GHOSTDRAGON, LANCE [dead])
Ronald McDonald [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRIES, SODA, BURGER)
Goku [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: KRILLIN, GOHAN, MEOWTH)
Lord Janus [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: OZZIE, SLASH, FLEA)
Referee [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Webmaster Killer Nacho [Too many wins to display here]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Professor Birch [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: SHOTGUN)
Dozens of People [2-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOONS)
Pokemon Trainer May [3-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: MUDKIP, SWELLOW, RHYDON)
Spanky the Clown [1-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: URANUS, 9,000 UFOS [dead])
General Generalicus [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Munchkin [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Supermon [3-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATTATA)
Ramsly [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: COOKLIE BEAR)
Thief [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)
Crono [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: KATANA)
Marle [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: CROSSBOW)
Lucca [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: GUN)
Maxie, Leader of Team Magma [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: ZIGZAGOON, CAMERUPT)
Archie, Leader of Team Aqua [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: ZIGZAGOON, SHARPEDO)
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