Welcome to the Cheesiest Blog on the Web

Welcome to the blog of The Killer Nacho, known to most mortals as Timothy J. Sharpe, a Computer Science graduate of Messiah College and currently a Systems Analyst for Sunoco Logistics. Within this tome of pages, one will find my innermost thoughts about various things concerning things that I enjoy. These subjects include, but are not limited to, roleplaying, gaming, American Football (the NFL), things to do with computers, philosophy, movies that are awesome, TV shows that are awesome, my own writings and creative works, and dangerous Mexican snacks.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Pokebattles Flare Version, Battles 46-50: The End?


 FLARE VERSION

Quite some time ago, I became enamored with a Pokemon parody known as Pokebattles (www.pokebattles.com) by Jason Ross. Much like others, I decided to write a few of my own, which turned into my own "Version", Flare Version. While a lot of it was amateurish due to my young age, I've decided to re-write it (and thereby improving the quality) and post it here on my blog for others to enjoy.

Battles 46 through 50 are all Pokemon League matches, which started last time with Battle 45. The Pokemon League all seems to be going pretty smoothly until the Season Finale, Battle #50, where something happens that will change Flare Version forever. Could this be the end of Flare Version? Well I suppose you'll have to read and decided for yourself...

Narrator text
Player text
God Text

Battle #46, Pokemon League, Part II
Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Sal [1-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX, TORCHIC, MEOWTH)

 I may have lost in the past... but you know what, this is a whole new slate of cardboard!
SLATE of CARDBOARD?!
Yes... my own domain! My own victory...!

Location: Slate of Cardboard in Sal's Domain and Victory

Err... that's not funny.
NEITHER was your SPEECH in the FIRST PLACE!
Fair point. But I would prefer to not be standing on a burning piece of cardboard, thank you...

Location: Indigo Plateau

Phew... thank you.
NARRATOR said to NOT MENTION IT!
Alright... so my first opponent is uh... Mr. Goku, is it?
GOKU: Hi! I'm Goku!
Oh wait... that Goku... Um... crap.
GOKU: That Goku? What do you mean?
Super Saiyan... most powerful being in the universe. I'm pretty much screwed, aren't I?
GOKU wants to fight!
Fun. I guess I'll try out Onix. At least he may hurt himself if he tries to punch it.
Although on second thought, Rock types are weak against Fighting types for some reason...
Go, ONIX!
GOKU sent out KRILLIN!
Hmm... Perhaps my odds of winning have improved?  
Okay Onix, use Fissure!
ONIX used FISSURE!
FISSURE opened up under ONIX!
Damn it Onix! Create the fissure under the ENEMY!
ONIX fell to its DEATH!
ONIX died!
What?!
NOoOoooooo!! Not another one of my precious Pokemon... Krillin... you will pay!
KRILLIN points out that it DIDN'T even MAKE a MOVE yet!
It  matters not. You were the enemy when my Onix died.
I suppose I'll have to use my starter... Go, Torchic!
Get'm, TORCHIC!
Flamethrower attack, NOW!
TORCHIC got out a FLAMETHROWER!
BUT it was AIMED the WRONG WAY!
TORCHIC was set ABLAZE!
NOT ON YOURSELF! WHY DO ALL MY POKeMON ATTACK THEMSELVES HERE?
SAL should've SPECIFIED a TARGET!
It is... IMPLIED ...!!  
Maybe SAL should be a better TRAINER!
SAL's POKeMON seem to all want to commit SUICIDE!
HEY! I CAN'T HELP IT THAT THOSE BITTER HEALING ITEMS ARE CHEAP!
TORCHIC fainted!
Phew... only fainted. At least one of my Pokemon will live a battle.
TORCHIC is STILL on FIRE!
Uh oh... I must help my poor Torchic!
There's no running from a trainer battle!
Damn it! I forgot about the battle...
SAL has 15 LINES before its TORCHIC dies!
  1. Damn you!
  2. GOKU: Oh oh! This is a game? Line wasting time!
  3. Oh no you don't! It's up to you, Meowth!
  4. Go, MEOWTH!
  5. MEOWTH joined Enemy KRILLIN!
  6. WHAT? You traitor ... !
  7. Get'm, SAL!
  8. Alright... I have to think... Obviously, I'm no where near as strong as Goku... but I may be able to outsmart him...
  9. SAL used THINK!
  10. Of course... Goku, look over there! That random kid as a cheeseburger!
  11. GOKU: CHEESEBURGER? I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER!?!
  12. GOKU used FLY!
  13. GOKU therefore FORFEITS!
  14. Yess! Now to just use this on my Torchic...
  15. SAL used WATER GUN!
It's not very effective...
TORCHIC died!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Not my Torchic... my first Pokemon... No... This can't be hapening...
Wild SLAKOTH appeared!
Wild SLAKOTH attempts to use CHEER UP!
Sniff... sniff... what..?
You want to be my Pokemon? No you don't, I'm a horrible trainer...
Wild SLAKOTH used the POKeBALL!
Wild SLAKOTH was caught!
Sniff... sniff... Okay.
Thank you, kind Slakoth. I promise to treat you with the love and kindness my Torchic never got...
Good bye, my Torchic...  my last memory of the Hoenn region...
This BATTLE is FUNNY!
...Are you kidding?
It's a complete emotional breakdown! HOW CAN ANYONE FIND THIS FUNNY?
The READERS will!
What? All three of them?
They must be awfully sadistic...
SAL is CRYING like a LITTLE GIRL!
Sniff sniff....
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
BATTLE used END!

Battle #47, Pokemon League, Part III
Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Gym Leader Molds [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: GLOOM, VILEPLUME)

Hmph!
I'm back from the dead, and I swear to get my revenge on that kid who killed my daughter and I!
MOLDS is FREAKING PISSED!
Damn straight, Narrator.
When I first heard my daughter Grassly had died, I was suicidal. I let that Rikks bum just walk away. But now I'm full of motherly fury!
MOLDS used MOTHERLY FURY!
It's super effective!
There are some who called me the strongest Gym Leader in Kanto!
Beating this... fast food clown should be easy!
McDONALD doesn't LIKE to be CALLED a CLOWN!
McDONALD prefers being KNOWN as a FOOLISHNESS TECHNICIAN!
Um, whatever. Let's get this over with.
McDONALD wants to fight!
Do your worst!
Literally, I'd prefer you made this easy.
McDONALD said he'd TRY!
SAL is enraged!
Um, what is your problem, nerd?
SAL wants to KNOW why McDONALD is ALLOWED to have a LOWER-CASE LETTER in its NAME!
Err... That is a good point. I thought no one had a lower case letter in their name here?
McDONALD informs YOU that he has a SECRET!
Uh... what's that?
McDONALD will give you a HINT!
Um, okay...
McDONALD reveals that DAZOMBIEMAN is his BROTHER!
Wait ... but that means...!
McDONALD said PRECISELY!
McDONALD confirms he is a SON of the NARRATOR!
But... but...!
Well I suppose this does actually explain how your restaurant is so popular despite your primary ingredient being Grimer... 
McDONALD used LAUGH!
McDONALD is LAUGHING like a MANIAC!
Well it doesn't matter!
You may be a decent Clow... err... "Foolishness Technician". But I am still a gym leader and will be able to defeat you!
McDONALD asked YOU if they can BATTLE, ALREADY!
I've been ready. I'll start off with Gloom!
Get'm, GLOOM!
McDONALD sent out BURGER!
Cute. A Grimer named Burger.
BURGER used SLUDGE BOMB!
GLOOM fainted!
Wait.. what? How?!
Granted, Sludge Bomb is a powerful attack... but a Level 10 Grimer should not one hit KO a Level 50 Gloom with it...!
McDONALD said this ALWAYS HAPPENS!
You... you cheat!
The only reason you are here is that the Narrator gives you special treatment! This isn't fair!
NARRATOR said MOLDS has a POINT!
McDONALD insists that MOLDS does NOT!
What? Of course I do!
NARRATOR surprisingly AGREES with MOLDS!
NARRATOR agrees to NOT be BIASED in this BATTLE anymore!
Well that would be a first...
I mean, you're always biased. Just usually it isn't this blatant. Well, lets see if you can keep your word... Go, Vileplume!
Go, VILEPLUME!
Alright... use Razor Leaf. Granted, the Grimer should resist the attack, but being 60 Levels higher ought to help.
VILEPLUME used RAZOR LEAF!
Critical hit!
Enemy BURGER fainted!
Nice!
McDONALD said that is SURELY a NARRATION ERROR!
NARRATOR said it WAS NOT!
Of course not. What did you expect?
McDONALD insists it WAS!
McDONALD is mistaken!
McDONALD was forced to SHUT UP in its MISTAKE!
Well, that's better. He was getting annoying anyway...
McDONALD sent out FRIES!
And... another Level 10 Grimer. This time, named Fries... cute.
Enemy FRIES used ACID!
Well that did like... 10 damage.
McDONALD has a CREEPY and UPSET look on its FACE!
Aww, it's so cute like that. Vileplume, finish it!
VILEPLUME used CLEAR SMOG!
Enemy FRIES is made of SMOG so it was CLEARED!
Enemy FRIES fainted!
Dang. It's like you're being unfair in MY favor...
MOLDS has a POINT!
Uh, what?
I was being sarcastic.
STILL, NARRATOR is being BIASED... against McDONALD!
No, you're being correct... a Level 10 Grimer stands no chance against a Level 70 Vileplume.
NARRATOR cares NOT for your LOGIC!
NARRATOR will EVEN the BIAS!
But... you already did that!
McDONALD said in SIGN LANGUAGE that the NARRATOR is INDEED being BIASED against it!
Of course, he WOULD say that!
NARRATOR doesn't KNOW what to DO!
NARRATOR dislikes this CONFLICT of INTERESTS!
NARRATOR just wants to be a GOOD PARENT!
But! As a good parent, you should do what is best for the child!
Obviously, spoiling the child isn't what is best!
McDONALD wants to KNOW what MOLDS knows about BEING a GOOD PARENT!
McDONALD reminds MOLDS that its DAUGHTER is DEAD!
Oh why you! I'LL KILL HIM!
MOLDS begins to CHARGE at McDONALD!
NARRATOR cannot ALLOW THAT!
Well you're not going to stop me short of...!
NARRATOR has no CHOICE!
MOLDS died!
Wait what? HOW?
MOLDS is dead!
MOLDS should not be TALKING!
But I can't just die for no reason!
MOLDS should've THOUGHT of THAT before THREATENING the NARRATOR's SON!
Biased... freaking... Narrator..!!
This isn't over!
NARRATOR thinks that IT IS!
BATTLE used END!        

Battle #48, Pokemon League, Part IV
Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Vikks a Lot [5-6]
(Pokemon Lineup: SQUIRTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN)

Here we go! Time to show everyone what I'm made of!
VIKKSALOT is made out of FLESH, BONES and ORGANS!
WELL, with the EXCEPTION of its HEART!
Well I know THAT!
It's time to show everyone just how "Heartless" I am!
The GIANT GASH in your CHEST was a DEAD GIVEAWAY!
Ugh... how did you not get that simple of a pun?
NARRATOR gets it NOW!
NARRATOR thinks that PUN is QUITE CLEVER!
More like obvious, but whatever.
You know, I've noticed something about this gash. I can bleed and bleed but I still won't ever die.
OBVIOUSLY!
VIKKSALOT is the RIVAL!
VIKKSALOT cannot DIE!
Having an unlimited amount of blood makes me special!
VIKKSALOT has a POINT!
VIKKSALOT is QUITE SPECIAL!
What? VIKKSALOT is evolving!
Huh?
VIKKSALOT evolved into SPECIALVIKKS!
Sniff... sniff..!
I'm so special that I finally get an evolution that Rikks didn't even have!
THAT is because OUTLAWRIKKS is TOO COOL for such a BAD NAME!
Yup!
Wait... hey...!
LORD MAGUS appeared!
Oh right. The battle!
But wait... why did you "appear". I kind of assumed you were standing next to me the whole time...
...
Whatever. Let's get this thingie rolling!
NARRATOR would make a PUN about a THINGIE ROLLING but it would be TOO STUPID for even IT!
LORD MAGUS wants to fight!
Well so do I, hippie man!
LORD MAGUS points out that HE is not a HIPPY!
Could've fooled me with that long purple air, buddy!
LORD MAGUS points OUT that the SIMILARITIES between IT and a HIPPY end THERE!
What could your long purple hair stand for then?
LORD MAGUS doesn't KNOW!
LORD MAGUS sent out OZZIE!
What a hideous Pokemon! A fat... green... demon thing?
OZZIE: Shut up, foo! I own your Pokemon, duuuuuuude!
A fat green demon gangster, I stand corrected.
I'll use my Watergun at this junction!
Get'm, WATERGUN!
Hurry! Use Squirt before it can defend itself!
WATERGUN used SQUIRT!
Enemy OZZIE is refreshed!
Awwww....
Enemy OZZIE used SNAP!
WATERGUN was SNAPPED in HALF!
Oh... ouch.
WATERGUN died!
DIED? These things always happen to me!
ACTUALLY, THESE THINGS usually happen to SAL!
IN FACT, NARRATOR believes this is the FIRST TIME it has happened to SPECIALVIKKS!
Fair enough. Ugh, go Spearow!
The enemy just killed the last Pokemon! Get'm, SPEAROW!
Gouge its eyes out!
SPEAROW used EYE GOUGE!
SPEAROW charges at OZZIE!
C'mon!
LORD MAGUS: No, OZZIE! Dodge!
SPEAROW gouged OZZIE's EYES out!
Oooh! Looks painful!
LORD MAGUS: Ugh! Without his eyes, he's useless!
LORD MAGUS withdrew OZZIE!
LORD MAGUS sent out FLEA!
So uh... is that a guy or a girl?
FLEA: Male, female, what's the difference?
Uh... I'm pretty sure there are a few differences that are usually quite obvious...
FLEA: Power is beautiful and I have power! 
Um... sure.
Well whether you are a male or a female one thing is for sure!
FLEA wants to KNOW what THAT IS!
You're a crossdresser.
FLEA is angry!
Good. Then perhaps you are so angry to notice the... DRILL PECK!
SPEAROW used DRILL PECK!
SPEAROW got out a DRILL!
A literal drill?
CORRECT!
SPEAROW drilled FLEA's HEAD OPEN!
FLEA fainted!
Hahahahahaha! It looks like you aren't so powerful, after all!
What is next, Magus man?
MAGUS MAN... err... LORD MAGUS said PREPARE for his LAST MINION!
LORD MAGUS sent out SLASH!
Spearow use ----
Enemy SLASH used SLASH!
Critical hit!
SPEAROW was SLASHED in HALF with SLASH's SLASHER!
That's a minor tongue twister..!
SPEAROW fainted!
Only fainted? I'll take it. Hmm... which Pokemon to use now...
SPECIALVIKKS only has ONE POKeMON LEFT!
DUMBASS!
Oh yeah!
Go, Squirtle!
Get'm, SQUIRTLE!
Use Hydro Pump, now!
SQUIRTLE used HYDRO PUMP!
SQUIRTLE pumped SLASH!
Uh... I can't watch this! My virgin eyes!!
Enemy SLASH fainted!
Uh... does that mean, I win?
NOT YET!
LORD MAGUS sent out LORD MAGUS!
Oh... so he wants to fight himself!
LORD MAGUS used DARK MATTER!
SQUIRTLE fainted!
Holy shit!
The enemy is a powerful wizard! Get'm, SPECIALVIKKS!
Well in order to do this... I'll have to use my Devolve attack!
SPECIALVIKKS used DEVOLVE!
What? LORD MAGUS is devolving!
LORD MAGUS devolved into LORD JANUS!
Wow. Talk about an age drop!
LORD JANUS: One of you will shortly perish...
Huh? I can't die... I'm the rival.
LORD JANUS wasn't TALKING to YOU!
LORD JANUS was TALKING to the KIDS over there in the AUDIENCE!
Oh...
ANVIL used FALL!
ANVIL hit a KID in the HEAD!
KID died!
Poor kid. Those flying anvils from the sky seem quite common these days.

Location: The sky
Player: Random Pilot [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: JET)

GOD FREAKING DAMNIT, MAN!
Will you PLEASE stop throwing Anvils out of the Jet! I mean, we're currently above Indigo Plateau stadium!
CO-PILOT still ARGUES that the chances of HITTING SOMEONE is QUITE LOW!
...Still.
What are we doing with all these anvils, anyway?
CO-PILOT has NO IDEA!
THAT is why CO-PILOT throws them OUT!

Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Special Vikks [5-6]
(Pokemon Lineup: SQUIRTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])

LORD JANUS: One of you will shortly perish...
Yes, yes! I heard you the first time, and that kid already died!
LORD JANUS was talking about YOU this time!
Not on my watch, not today! I must defeat you, evil Janus man!
I'll use my Special attack...
...
Uh oh... Please Narrator... no puns...!
NARRATOR can't HELP itself!
SPECIALVIKKS used SPECIAL ATTACK!
SPECIALVIKKS is SPECIAL!
... Thanks a lot.
NO PROBLEM!
SPECIALVIKKS is SPECIAL!
I think we've been through that.
SPECIALVIKKS punched LORD JANUS in his SPECIALNESS!
Is specialness even a word?
Interesting.
LORD JANUS fainted!
Whatever! It looks like I win!
BATTLE used END!          

Battle #49, Pokemon League, Part V
Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Sal [2-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: SLAKOTH, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

NARRATOR would like to ANNOUNCE the ROUND TWO PAIRINGS!
It doesn't matter. I'll probably lose anyway.
And my Slakoth will probably die.
SAL vs OUTLAWRIKKS!
SPECIALVIKKS vs McDONALD!
Oh good. Looks like I'm done for sooner than later.
WHAT is WRONG with SAL?!
I've lost all will to fight.
THAT is SAD!
If ONE sets itself UP for FAILURE, they FAIL!
True.
But if one sets oneself up for victory, one's Pokemon dies. At least if that person is me.
ALSO TRUE!
OUTLAWRIKKS appeared!
This is the part where I lose.
OUTLAWRIKKS wants to fight!
Okay.
Can I surrender yet?
Go, SLAKOTH!
OUTLAWRIKKS: Heh, I'll go easy on you!
Liar.
OUTLAWRIKKS sent out CHARMANDER!
I guess... use Yawn, Slakoth.
After all, this is going to be a rather sleep-inducing battle.
SLAKOTH used YAWN!
It's super effective!
Yup thought so, my Slakoth is dead....
Wait, did you say "Super effective"?!
YES!
Enemy CHARMANDER fainted!
Ah well. It will be my only KO of the match, I'm afraid.
OUTLAWRIKKS sent out UNDEADGATES!
So I lose to the undead version of Bill Gates. Splendid.
Enemy UNDEADGATES used SUICIDE!
Enemy UNDEADGATES fainted!
Huh? Why are things happening that is so ... fortunate for me? 
SIMPLE!
OUTLAWRIKKS' LUCK changed to BAD in its LAST BATTLE!
SAL has the LUCK ADVANTAGE for ONCE!
Yep... and I'll still need it. No way I win without it.
SLAKOTH: Master! There is something I must tell you...
Wait, you can talk?
SLAKOTH: Of course I can!
Err... kay. Let me guess... you want to leave me, too?
SLAKOTH: No, master! I am... the legendary EMPEROR SLAKOTH!
Is it April 1st already?
SLAKOTH: No! I'm serious!
What? SLAKOTH is evolving!
SLAKOTH evolved into EMPEROR SLAKOTH!
What the... he's huge!
HOLY SHIT... I'm going to win!
OUTLAWRIKKS sent out LORD!
HAH! He stands no chance against Emperor Slakoth! Use devour!
EMPEROR SLAKOTH is loafing around!
...Figures.
EMPEROR SLAKOTH used SUPER SLOTH PUNCH!
... HOLY SHIT!
Enemy LORD fainted!
Heh...!
OUTLAWRIKKS sent out X-BOX!
X-BOX wants to kill OUTLAWRIKKS!
Oh right, I forgot... X-Box doesn't like Rikks.
OUTLAWRIKKS unplugged X-BOX!
Enemy X-BOX fainted! 
Well that is good for me, still...
OUTLAWRIKKS sent out OUTLAWRIKKS!
Well it was nice while it lasted, Rikks.
You stand no chance against Emperor Slakoth!
OUTLAWRIKKS used EVOLVE!
What are you doing?!
That's insane!
What? EMPEROR SLAKOTH is evolving!
EMPEROR SLAKOTH evolved into EMPEROR SLAKING!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! 
OUTLAWRIKKS used SMILE!
OUTLAWRIKKS is smiling! 
You fool! My Pokemon has to be over 1,000 feet tall now! You stand no chance!
REFEREE: Over 1,000 feet, you say?
Uh yes... why?
REFEREE: According to this book, POKeMON LEAGUE RULES for DUMMYs, it says here that the maximum height for a competing Pokemon is 1,000 feet!
WHAT?
Who wrote that bullshit book?!
REFEREE: The narrator...
HEY! THIS ISN'T FAIR!
LIFE is not FAIR!
OUTLAWRIKKS wins thanks to TECHNICALITY!
No... no... NO!
I was SO CLOSE!! It's like... You built me up just to let me down!
EXACTLY!
BECAUSE its FUNNY!
...No, no no!!....
BATTLE used END!    

Battle #50, Pokemon League, Part VI (SEASON FINALE)
Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Ronald McDonald [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRIES, SODA, BURGER)

Mwahahaha! I'm ready for this!
With the narrator on  my side, I cannot possibly lose!
NARRATOR has something BAD to tell YOU!
Hmm? What could that be?
KILLER NACHO: I have intervened. You are disqualified for tournament fraud.
WHAAA?
DAD, THIS MUST BE INACCURATE!
SORRY!
NARRATOR must LISTEN to the WEBMASTER!
McDONALD loses by DEFAULT to SPECIALVIKKS!
Lame and anti-climatic!
SPECIALVIKKS: Easiest. Battle. Ever.
What? SPECIALVIKKS' SQUIRTLE is evolving!
But... He didn't even do anything!
SQUIRTLE evolved into WAR TURTLE!
I'm NOT loving it...
THAT is FUNNY because I'M LOVING IT is a McDONALD's SLOGAN!
Sigh.

Location: Victory Road
Player: Yugi Moto [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GAIAKNIGHT, SUMMONEDSKULL, KURIBOH)

Huffpuff... huffpuff... nuffpuff... I hope I'm not too late!

Location: Indigo Plateau

I'M HERE! And, I have all 8 badges!
REFEREE: Err... sorry, sir. But you're late. The finals are about to start!
WHAT?
But this can't be... it's my destiny to save the universe...!
REFEREE: You can always stay and watch...
No way! I have to get in!
REFEREE: Why would I let in a minor character who hasn't appeared since like... Battle #2?
You fool!
This whole time, I've been a major character in disguise. Unlike Sal, I've chosen to get to the bottom of this Flare Version  nonsense in complete secrecy... without causing suspicion from the narrator... and now, I have the answer!
THAT was QUITE the MONOLOGUE!
Here... I'll show you! Puberty Power!
YUGI used PUBERTY POWER!
What? YUGI is evolving!
YUGI evolved into YAMI YUGI!
Hah! What do you think now?!
REFEREE: Wow! You really are a main character! Too bad I still can't let you in.
HAH!
I'm not going to let you stop me... Gaia the Fierce Knight, end him!
Go, GAIAKNIGHT!
REFEREE: HUH? WHAT?
Force Strike, now!
GAIAKNIGHT used FORCE STRIKE!
Enemy REFEREE died!
Return, Gaia!
GAIAKNIGHT, Enough!
Now, I must hurry... the fate of the universe is in my hands!
Did FLARE VERSION just get an actual PLOT?!
Oh yes, my dear, Narrator, oh yes...

Player: Rikks the Outlaw [14-6-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD)

MEANWHILE, HUNDREDS of MILES away...
Another Yugioh the Abridged Series reference?
I think Little Kuriboh is gonna sue somebody...
SPECIALVIKKS: Anyway...
Yes. This is it... the final battle.
SPECIALVIKKS: Indeed! Only one of us can win...
And that's going to be ---
YAMI YUGI appeared!
YAMI YUGI: Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
HUH?
SPECIALVIKKS: Well this is special.
YAMI YUGI drew a GUN!
WTF?
YAMI YUGI wants to fight!
YAMI YUGI sent out YAMI YUGI!
Ummm... Vikks... I think we should uh... yeah.... 
Ally SPECIALVIKKS sent out SPECIALVIKKS!
Go, OUTLAWRIKKS!
This is highly irregular. I bet none of the readers saw THIS ONE coming.
YAMI YUGI: Don't move our I'll shoot!
Man, I have a gun too! You don't move or I'll shoot!
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
Oh, damn it!
OUTLAWRIKKS was SHOT!
OUTLAWRIKKS is BURNING APART!
AAAARGGHH ... !!! What is THAT!!!
Could this be... the end?!
OUTLAWRIKKS died!

Player: Special Vikks [7-6]
(Pokemon Lineup: WAR TURTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])

What the hell?! How could he die?
SPECIALVIKKS is dying!
Huh? What?
Oh shit... if Rikks is dead...!
THAT's RIGHT!
With OUTLAWRIKKS dead, SPECIALVIKKS is no longer IMMORTAL!
Without a HEART, SPEECIALVIKKS is going to DIE!
No... It can't end like this... can it?
SPECIALVIKKS died!
YAMI YUGI: And just to make sure...
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
...
OVERKILL!

Player: Sal [2-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

Holy shit! What is going on here?!
SAL just WET HIMSELF!
For good reason this time!
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
UGH !!!
SAL died!     

Location: Random house, watching TV
Player: Chris [5-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRENCHWHORE, BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON, DARKMAGICIAN [dead])

OMG!
That guy... he just killed Rikks ... and Vikks ... and that fat kid!
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
CHRIS died!
HEY! BUT I WASN'T EVEN THERE!
TOO BAD!
YOU'RE DEAD!
Doh!

Player: Webmaster KillerNacho [Too many wins to display]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

What is going on here?!
YAMI YUGI: So... Webmaster Killer Nacho... you finally show your face!
Why... why are you doing this?
You're supposed to be Lawful Good!
YAMI YUGI: Yes... well, I realized this entire world is evil. This is the only option I have.
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
RIKKSMOM died!
You're insane!
YAMI YUGI: Perhaps.
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
REECE BENLIER died!
I demand you to STOP!
YAMI YUGI: Never.
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
OAK died!
That's it. You're so dead.
YAMI YUGI wants to fight!
YAMI YUGI sent out YAMI YUGI!
Hmph! Go me.
Go, KILLER NACHO!
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
UGH ... WHAT is that gun... it hurts...
What the hell? My God powers... they are gone!
YAMI YUGI: You fool. This is the ... FLARE GUN!
Impossible!
On second thought, creating a gun that has the power to unravel my universe was probably a mistake... in hindsight. Either way, YOU WILL PAY!
KILLER NACHO used RABID NACHO BITE!
It's not very effective...
WHAT?
YAMI YUGI: The holder of the Flare Gun is also resistant to all  Flare-type attacks. And since all your attacks are Flare-type...
Why did I ever make that gun in the first place?!
YAMI YUGI: Yes, it wasn't very smart.
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
UGH!
KILLER NACHO is dying!
This can't be... How could I... be dying...?
This is... my universe...
YAMI YUGI used SHOOT!
JARJARBINKS died!
Okay, admittedly, I don't really care about that one.
YAMI YUGI continues to SHOOT RANDOM PEOPLE!
RANDOM PEOPLE died!
That's it...
I've run out of options...
This is the end...!
KILLER NACHO used FLARE END!
FLARE VERSION is being RIPPED APART! 
KANTO is DESTROYED!
YAMI YUGI died!
KILLER NACHO died!
EVERYONE ELSE died!
NARRATOR died....?!
SEASON used END!

And so, it was done. The Webmaster of Flare Version was defeated, and with his last remaining strength, ended Flare Version rather than surrender it to Yami Yugi. But is this truly the end for our heroes? What becomes of the happy-go-lucky Rikks? Vikks the over-confident? Sal the depressed? Chris the evil? Yugi the mysterious? Reece Benlier? Or the former God, Killer Nacho and the Narrator?

Stay tuned for ... Season 2. Coming soon.

FLARE VERSION Player Database

(At the end of Season 1, everyone is dead. Rather than add [dead] to everyone's name, just remember that.)

Rikks the Outlaw [14-7-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD)

Special Vikks [7-7]
(Pokemon Lineup: SQUIRTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])

Chris [5-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRENCHWHORE, BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON, DARKMAGICIAN [dead])

Yami Yugi [1-1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GAIAKNIGHT, SUMMONEDSKULL, KURIBOH)

Jr. Trainer [0-2] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: SANDSHREW [dead])

Rikks' Mom [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CUTIEPIE)

Brock's Dad [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GEOCITIES [dead])

Reece Benlier [4-3-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: THREETALES, LUCARIO [dead])

Jar Jar Binks [3-3-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CRYBABY, GHOST)

James [2-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING)

Jessie of Team Rocket [2-6] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: KOBRA)

Meowth [0-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Da Zombie Man [1-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: LUGIA [dead])

Seto Kaiba [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HITOTSU-ME-GIANT, JUDGEMAN [dead])

Random Pilot [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: JET)

Robotor the Robot [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGNEMITE, ROBOT [dead])

Schoolboy Danny [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATATTA)

Gym Leader Molds [1-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: GLOOM, VILEPLUME)

Gymleader [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GRASS [dead])

Grassly, Little Girl [no record yet] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Police [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: GUN)

Professor Oak [0-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: PIKACHU)

Mr. Psychic [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: JYNX)

Old Woman [0-1] [dead]
(Poekmon Lineup: none)

Sabrina the Teenage Witch [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FEMALEMR.MIME, KADABRA, ABRA)

Youngster Duggy [0-3] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGIKARP)

Master Sorcerer [0-0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MINOMAGE)

Death Star 2 Spaceship Rabid Monkey of Doom [1-2-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Pizza Man [2-0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHEESEPIZZA, PEPPERONIPIZZA [dead], SAUSAGEPIZZA, MUSHROOMPIZZA [dead])

Vikkz a Lot [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Cris [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HISDAD [dead])

Pizaman [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: TOWER)

Vikks' Heart [3-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: POLICEDOG)

Michael Vick [2-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL)

Sal [2-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

Flare [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEMON [dead])

Grim Reaper [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEATH [dead], PERSIAN)

SmarterChild [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Champion Lance [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DRAGONITE, GHOSTDRAGON, LANCE [dead])

Ronald McDonald [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRIES, SODA, BURGER)

Goku [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: KRILLIN, GOHAN, MEOWTH)

Lord Janus [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: OZZIE, SLASH, FLEA)

Referee [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Webmaster Killer Nacho [Too many wins to display here]
(Pokemon  Lineup: none)

No comments:

Post a Comment