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Welcome to the blog of The Killer Nacho, known to most mortals as Timothy J. Sharpe, a Computer Science graduate of Messiah College and currently a Systems Analyst for Sunoco Logistics. Within this tome of pages, one will find my innermost thoughts about various things concerning things that I enjoy. These subjects include, but are not limited to, roleplaying, gaming, American Football (the NFL), things to do with computers, philosophy, movies that are awesome, TV shows that are awesome, my own writings and creative works, and dangerous Mexican snacks.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Pokebattles Flare Version, Battles 56-60: Cult Blitz


 FLARE VERSION

Quite some time ago, I became enamored with a Pokemon parody known as Pokebattles (www.pokebattles.com) by Jason Ross. Much like others, I decided to write a few of my own, which turned into my own "Version", Flare Version. While a lot of it was amateurish due to my young age, I've decided to re-write it (and thereby improving the quality) and post it here on my blog for others to enjoy.

A new group emerges in Battle #57 by James (inspired by Yami Yugi). The powerful Cult Moto, with its dozens of followers, seeks to find and destroy the evil Webmaster KillerNacho at all costs! Will they succeed? And how will the history of this new cult develop? Most of the battles in this series focus around Yami James and his new cult, so you need to read to find out!

Narrator text
Player text
God Text

Battle #56, Danny's Escape
Location: Pokeball
Player: Schoolboy Danny [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATATTA)

Sigh... how long have I been trapped within this Pokeball?
CRYBABY has been inside POKeBAL for 40 BATTLES!
Ugh... this is so boring.
CRYBABY now KNOWS what it is LIKE to be a POKeMON!
I guess.
Go, CRYBABY!
Looks like I'm being summoned, again.

Location: Peltaburg City

JARJARBINKS: (Okay, Crybaby! Send out your Rattata!)
Sigh... Yes, overlord.
Get'm, RATTATA!
What now?
JARJARBINKS: (Have it use its Hyper Fang.)
You heard the fish-man, Rattata.
RATTATA used HYPER FANG!
Enemy ZIGZAGOON fainted!
This is the point I get "returned".
JARJARBINKS: (First, return your Rattata.)
Wait... but if I don't return my Rattata, he can't return me...
No!
CRYBABY is loafing around! 
JARJARBINKS: (But... you can't loaf around unless... Wait, how did you get to Level 40?!)
Well, I had to do something while in that Pokeball.
JARJARBINKS: (What the Darth Maul did you train on?!)
The "food" you gave me, of course.
JARJARBINKS: (You got to Level 40 by defeating Level 3 Capterpies?!)
Yep. And now I'm starved.
And it's all your fault.
JARJARBINKS warns you to STOP disobeying!
Or?
JARJARBINKS will want to fight!
Bring it!
JARJARBINKS wants to fight!
CRYBABY already has RATTATA out!
Hey Narrator... considering I'm no longer a slave of Jar Jar, you think I could change my name back now?
CERTAINLY!
CRYBABY was renamed DANNY!
Thanks. 
JARJARBINKS sent out GHOST!
Your Ghost doesn't scare me! My Rattata has Crunch!
RATTATA used CRUNCH!
It's super effective! 
Enemy GHOST fainted!
Nice going, Rattata!  
JARJARBINKS: (How is this possible?!)
Actually, this may be the most realistic battle yet in Flare Version... Crunch, being a Dark move, is super effective against a Ghost-type like Ghost.
Aah, the benefits of being a school-boy.
JARJARBINKS sent out JARJARBINKS!
Hmm... Focus your energy, Rattata!
RATTATA used FOCUS ENERGY!
RATTATA is trying to FOCUS on its ENERGY!
Um... and how long will that take?
15 MINUTES!
Fifteen minutes?! And what am I supposed to do until then?!
Go, DANNY!
Oh, sure.
Enemy JARJARBINKS used GUNGA BOMB!
OWWWW!!!
That's okay, because I've learned a new technique! Poke of DEATH!!!!!
DANNY used POKE OF DEATH!
JARJARBINKS was inflicted with LARGE AMOUNTS of PAIN!
JARJARBINKS fainted!
Wooohooo! I won my freedom!
Return, Rattata!
Enough, RATTATA!
I'm free to continue my Pokemon adventure in Kanto!
DANNY realizes this isn't KANTO!
Wait uh... where am I?!
DANNY is in HOENN!
Looks like I have some catching up to do...
Oh look! A Pokemon school! That will help me catch up on things...
BATTLE used END!

Battle #57, Cults are fun
Location: Romantic Garden in Peltaburg City
Player: Rikks' Mom [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CUTIEPIE)

Lancey... how I've missed you, Lancey...!
LANCE: Yes... your Lancey is here again with you, now...!
Why did we ever break up?
LANCE: As I recall, you made me gay...
Oh Lancey... I'm sorry about your "Master Balls"... you don't miss them much, do you?
LANCE: ........ YES, of COURSE I DO!
Can't we leave all that history behind us and start anew?
LANCE: On second thought... No!
LANCE disappeared!
YOU BASTARD!! WHERE DID YOU GO?!!

Location: Rustboro City
Player: James [2-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING)

You know... since all that Kanto nonsense ended, Flare Version has gotten really boring!
All there is to do is fight kids and their Zigzagoon... and those are even weaker than me!
JAMES was hit by a LIGHTNING BOLT!
OW, NARRATOR!
AREN'T I ALLOWED TO SIMPLY BITCH IN PEACE?
NARRATOR didn't use THUNDER!
Wait... then who?!
SPIRIT of YAMI YUGI appeared!
Yu..yu...YUGI??!
Get away from me you monster!!
YAMI YUGI: You fool! I am just an ethereal projection! The real me is in the Shadow Real... I mean, Black Version.
Then... what do you want with me?
YAMI YUGI: I want you to continue my work... James... You must start... the Cult of Moto!
Cult of Moto?? WHY SHOULD I?!
YAMI YUGI sent out FLARE GUN!
GAH!
But... You're just a spirit! You can't shoot... can you?!
YAMI YUGI: Want to test your theory?
Err! Not really!
YAMI YUGI withdrew FLARE GUN!
YAMI YUGI: Listen James... you must trust me. The Webmaster and Narrator are evil, and must be stopped. Same thing to all of his creations. The only hope is for you to do as I say.
Eh, sure, why not. Its not like I have anything better to do, anyway.
YAMI YUGI: Excellent... I must leave you now, my Spirit form cannot last long in this world. I have an idea...
What?
YAMI YUGI used TOUCH!
YAMI YUGI touched YOU!
Ooooh? Where?
*blush*
...
YAMI YUGI touched JAMES' HEAD!
Boring... why do I feel... so tingly?
YAMI YUGI disappeared!
Or was he even there at all?
What? JAMES is evolving!
Tingly feeling returns!
JAMES evolved into YAMI JAMES!
What... WHAT HAPPENED?
VOICE in your HEAD said that YOU and the PHARAOH have MERGED their SOULS!
So... we're ... one person now?!
YES!
VOICE in your HEAD will diminish with TIME!
Yes... Yes!!
I have never been sure of anything before... but I believe in this mission! To build a Cult of Moto... Mwahahahahaahaahaah!
Now to find some... followers!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE appeared!
Hello, my children! Follow me if you want to know the True Way! We are all here for a reason... all of us.
Long ago, in a land far lost, there was an EVIL WEBMASTER GOD that wanted to destroy all of the beautiful land of Kanto... Kanto has since fallen into the depths of the sea because of a very special man named Yami Yugi, who had the courage to step up to the EVIL WEBMASTER! However, the Webmaster has returned, here among us... here in Hoenn! He seeks to destroy us too... we must stop him at all costs!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE agree with your MONOLOGUE!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to join MOTO CULT!
YES, MY CHILDREN!
Let us all ride to the True way, the way of PARADISE!
FLARIKKS, VICK, and SAL appeared!
Hello my friends! Would you like to join the Moto Cult?
FLARIKKS said NEVER!
FLARIKKS used SPIT!
FLARRIKS spat at you!
You... you spit on ME? The great Yami James?!!
YOU WILL PAY!

Player: Flare Rikks [16-18-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD)

DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to KILL YOU!
I'm not afraid. Go, my undead friend!
Go, UNDEADGATES!
I will take you all out at the same time!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to fight!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS of ZIGZAGOONS! 
Pathetic... dispose of this trash!
UNDEADGATES used DISPOSE TRASH!
But there was no TRASH to DISPOSE!
... I meant the Zigzagoon...
OH, NARRATOR KNOWS!
Doh!
DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOONS used DOZENS OF TACKLES!
Looks like that hurt...
UNDEADGATES fainted!
Grr! Go, Charmander!
Get'm, CHARMANDER!
Flamethrower attack, now!
CHARMANDER used FLAMETHROWER!
CHARMANDER took out a FLAMETHROWER and was FLAMING DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!
DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!
Aah, nothing like a good AoE attack to take out the trash...
But there was still no TRASH to DISPOSE!
Shut up, Narrator.
Okay, James... it looks like I am victorious!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE isn't FINISHED with YOU!
Hm?
DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!
Great...
Looks like now I go from an innocent Pokebattler to a murderer. Fine by me.
Enemy DOZENS OF PEOPLE used LYNCH!
CHARMANDER fainted!   
Duuude! That's just not ... moral!
Get'm LORD!
Get'm, LORD!
Yes... what will you do to your Lord!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE used LYNCH! 
NARRATOR is HORRIFIED at itself for all the POSSIBLE PUNS!
Uh oh...
Choose your own NARRATOR joke!
Great...
A. LORD was CRUCIFIED! LORD died!
B. JUDAS ISCARIOT used BETRAY! LORD was BETRAYED and fainted!
C. LORD used PRAY! But it failed, and FLARIKKS loses!
WHAT?! I hate them all!
THEM ALL?
WHAT? No!
THEM ALL? HEHEHE...
No, Stop! STOP!
JUDAS ISCARIOT used BETRAY while LORD was PRAYING as it was being CRUCIFIED by DOZENS OF PEOPLE!
LORD died!
FLARIKKS loses!
Damn it, Narrator!
YAMI JAMES: Now, young one... Join us... Join us... Join us...
DOZENS OF PEOPLE: Join us... Join us... Join us... Join us!!
Get... get away from me...
Sal, Vick, help!
SAL and VICK have already RAN AWAY!
Cowards...!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE surround you!
Fine ... alright, alright! I'll join...
BATTLE used END!     

Battle #58, Ascendance
Location: Petalburg Woods
Player:Webmaster KillerNacho [Too many wins to display here]
(Pokemon  Lineup: none)

Okay, my little order... we must now focus on getting my Webmaster powers back.
OAK: According to my research, ascendance to your former godhood would require the blood of a Yami Spirit... but seeing as the only one I know of is dead, it isn't likely we could find one!
Hmm... but its worth a try. Reece?
REECE: Sure thing.
REECE used DETECT!
Well?
REECE is DETECTING a nearby YAMI SPIRIT!
Really? What luck!
Lead away!

Location: Rustboro City
Player: Yami James [3-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: Weezing)

Okay, my followers! Our time for greatness comes near!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE agreed!
FLARIKKS hates you!
Rikks, why do you hate me?
FLARIKKS said it has SOMETHING to do with being a SEX SLAVE!
Oh please! Is sex slavery really a reason to hate a person?!
Now give me a big lovely kiss!
FLARIKKS said DAMN IT!
FLARIKKS used LOVELY KISS!
Aaah, just how I like it.
FLARIKKS wants to go HOME!
Well, we should have thought of that before challenging the great CULT OF MOTO, how shouldn't we?
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO, REECE, and OAK appeared!
Heh! I was wondering when you would show your face to me... Webmaster!
FLARIKKS: OH THANK GOD! Have you come to save me?!
REECE wants to KNOW why FLARIKKS is in a PINK BIKINI with its PANTS DOWN!
It's not what it looks like!
REECE: Really? Because it looks like he's in a pink bikini with his pants down...
Okay, fine... I made Rikks my sex slave.
REECE doesn't WANT to be a SLAVE!
REECE ran away!
One down... two to go.
Moto Cult, ATTACK!
OAK wants to fight!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO wants to fight!
Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to fight!
I'll use my trusty Weezing!
Get'm, WEEZING!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO sent out WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO!
Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!
OAK sent out PIKACHU!
HAH! Give up, Webmaster! You're hopelessly outnumbered!
Enemy WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO used FLARE CYCLONE!
Ally DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!
Doh!
Enemy PIKACHU used...
WHAT? A PIKACHU?!!
RETREAT!
YAMI JAMES ran away!

Player: Flare Rikks [16-19-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD [dead])

Woooohoo!! I'm free!
Mr. Webmaster sir, Flare Rikks is reporting to duty!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO asks you to DISTRACT the MOB while OAK retrieves YAMI JAMES!
Will do, boss!
OAK ran away!  
DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!
This looks like a job for.. Charmander, go!
You're still hopelessly outnumbered! Get'm, CHARMANDER!
Use your Chardust attack!
CHARMANDER used CHARDUST!
But it missed!
What?! How do you miss a mob of people?!! You're bound to hit ONE...
DOZENS OF PEOPLE used RIOT!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE are RIOTING!
A lot of good that will do....
MAYOR appeared!
MAYOR gives into their DEMANDS!
Lame!
MAYOR outlaws FLARIKKS' POKeMON for this BATTLE!
Um, what?
Return, CHARMANDER!
Aww... If only I was still an Outlaw... then I could've lived outside this law.
Go, FLARIKKS!
Thats it... At least I saved something from my Outlaw form!
FLARIKKS withdrew GUN!
FLARIKKS used WARNING SHOT!
That's right, nothing to see here! Disperse!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE ran away!
Excellent. 
OAK appeared with YAMI JAMES!
YAMI JAMES: NOOOO, NOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO used BLOOD DRINK!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO consumed BLOOD!
Err... I didn't know you were a vampire.
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO is not a VAMPIRE!
It is, HOWEVER, a VICIOUS MEXICAN SNACK!
Err... okay.
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO's POWERS have RETURNED!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO used TELEPORT!
WEBMASTER KILLERNACHO teleported back to EARTH!
Well, that's that. I love happy endings.
OAK: Thank you for the help, FLARIKKS!
Don't mention it.
REECE: Now to return to my plot to kill the webmaster!
Couldn't you have just killed him when he was here in Flare Version? For that matter, didn't you run away? When did you get back?!
...
NARRATOR dislikes PLOT HOLES!
REECE disappeared!
Err... Okay.
Whatever, time to find Sal and Vick again...
BATTLE used END!

Battle #59, Dogfighting, Pokemon battles, what's the difference?
Location: Evergrande City
Player: Pokemon Trainer May [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: MUDKIP, SWELLOW, RHYDON)

Interesting... I heard Sal is back in the region. Let's see if I can find him.
SWELLOW used FLY!

Location: Rustboro City

Salllll! Oh, SALLLLL!
SAL and VICK appeared!
Hey, Sal! Do you want to battle?!
YOU want to fight!
SAL doesn't!
WHAT? HOW CAN YOU DENY ME!
SAL: Sorry, not now, May! I must find a friend of mine named Rikks...
Rikks?
Hmm... have a picture?
SAL withdrew PICTURE!
SAL showed PICTURE to MAY!
Wait... I think I saw this kid when I was flying into this city... Yes! He was wearing a pink bikini with his pants down... Kind of... kinky... hmm...
SAL: ... Yup, that was probably him. Where was he?
He went into Devon Corp, I think.
SAL used THANK!
SAL thanked you!
Psh... just find your friend! And you owe me a battle!
SAL said OKAY!

Player: Michael Vick [2-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL)

Woah, that's a big building! Reminds me of the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia!
BUILDING is indeed BIG!
SAL: Stop admiring the view, let's go!

Location: Devon Corp, 1st floor

SAL: Okay... now where did Rikks go?
I don't know...
SAL: That was a rhetorical question!
And I gave you a rhetorical answer...
SAL: Shut up. Go upstairs and look for him... I'll look for him down here.
Okay.
VICK used STAIRS!

Location: Devon Corp, 2nd floor

Wild ROTTWEILER appeared!
Ooh! A doggie!
Wild ROTTWEILER recognizes YOU!
Huh?
Wait a minute... Mr. Cuddles, is that you? I thought I hung and electrocuted you years ago!
Wild ROTTWEILER wants to fight!
So, that's the way its going to be, is it?
Sniff sniff... you're going to attack... your former Pokey man trainer...!
NARRATOR points OUT that VICK was not a POKeMON TRAINER!
NARRATOR adds VICK was just a DOG FIGHTER!
And what is dog fighting considered in this universe?
GOOD POINT!
As long as I'm in this "Pokey man" world, I can fight dogs as much as I wish!
And I'm going to add you to my collection again, Mr. Cuddles... Pokey ball go!
VICK used the POKeBALL!
Aw... it appeared to be caught!
What's going on?!
VICK is still NEW TO THIS!
NARRATOR explains that in order to CATCH most POKeMON, VICK must first WEAKEN it!
Hmm! I see. Well, I accept! 
Go, WEEDHILL!
Okay Weed hill, just as we practiced... use your Weed attack!
WEEDHILL used WEED!
WEEDHILL gave WEED to VICK!
Excellent. Love you, Weed hill!
VICK smoked WEED!
Ahhhhhh....
Wild ROTTWEILER used BITE!
WEEDHILL fainted!
Man, why be hating on my weed hill?!
Get'm, VICK!
Okay, Mr. Cuddles. I don't want to fight you. I know, I've been a jerk in the past. Hanging and electrocuting you and your family for losing dog fights that I signed you up for was the hardest thing I ever had to do...
Wild ROTTWEILER used EYE ROLL!
Wild ROTTWEILER is ROLLING its EYES!
You know, I understand why you don't believe me. But I'm a new man now. I've learned a lot from the people here in Flare Version... 
Wild ROTTWEILER thinks it UNDERSTANDS!
Wild ROTTWEILER is approaching you!
I learned to be... Ruthless!
VICK used ELECTROCUTE!
Wild ROTTWEILER has been paralyzed!
Excellent! Now let's see you escape from this Pokey ball now! 
VICK used the POKeBALL!
Wild ROTTWEILER was caught!
Hahahahaha!
Now with one of my former Rottweilers in my Pokey man collection, I can't lose!
VICK can still LOSE!
Yeah well, the chance is now lower. Anyway, I wonder what Sal is up to?

Location: Devon Corp, 1st floor
Player: Sal [2-5]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

RIKKS? RIKKS, where are you?!
FLARIKKS appeared!
Ewww... you really are in a pink bikini with your pants down.
FLARIKKS said its a LONG STORY!
I'm sure. Anyway, I have some spare clothes in my backpack... they might be a bit... big on you.
FLARIKKS points out ANYTHING is better than THIS!
Okay.
FLARIKKS put on BAGGY CLOTHES!
FLARIKKS: So ... where's Vick?
He's looking for you on Floor 2.
PAINFUL AGONY can be heard from UPSTAIRS!
Um... maybe we should check on him.
FLARIKKS agreed!
SAL and FLARIKKS used STAIRS!

Location: Devon Corp, 2nd floor

VICK is using ELECTRICAL OUTLET to ELECTROCUTE ROTTWEILER OVER and OVER again!
VICK! What the hell are you doing?!
VICK said it is TRAINING its new POKeMON!
...
Well, I hate to burst your bubble---
FLARIKKS used GRAB!
FLARIKKS grabbed your MOUTH!
Whhaa? whass the big ideaaa...?!
FLARIKKS: Are you crazy? You have no idea what could happen, saying something with a narrator this insane!
BUBBLE used BURST!
NUCLEAR EXPLOSION occurred! 
RUSTBORO CITY was completely DESTROYED! ... except DEVON CORP!
WHAT??!
FLARIKKS: SEE?!
GOD -- THE NARRATOR IS MORE INSANE THAN I THOUGHT!
SAL pissed itself ... AGAIN!
DAMN IT!
FLARIKKS gave you a TOWEL!
Erm... thank you.
FLARIKKS: Don't mention it. Now c'mon Michael, there is plenty of time for training later. Let's get out of here before someone figures out we're to blame for this destruction.
Sigh... it's starting again... this time in Hoenn.
BATTLE used END!     

Battle #60, Finishing the Job
Location: Police Station Ruins, Rustboro City
Player: Yami James [3-4]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING)

CHIEF OF POLICE: So you say you and your little ... cult ... can bring the terrorists who brought this great city to its knees to justice?!
Oh, indubitably! Me and my followers will easily detain Sal, you can bet your donuts on it!
CHIEF OF POLICE: Thank you for your assistance! FOR RUSTBORO!
Actually, I'm doing it for the destruction of the Almighty Webmaster!
CHIEF OF POLICE looks at you FUNNY!
What are you looking at?!
Well, I'm off to catch some terrorists!
CHIEF OF POLICE: Godspeed... 

Location: Rustboro Ruins

FLARIKKS, SAL, and VICK appeared!
You...!
FLARIKKS: You...!
SAL pissed itself!
Damn it! Get this man another towel!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE gave SAL DOZENS OF TOWELS!
Erm... that is... sufficient.
Now back to... You...!
FLARIKKS: You...!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE ask if you NEED a MOMENT!
Err... no, no! I'm fine.
Either way, you three are under arrest for assisting the Webmaster in the destruction of Rustboro City!
FLARIKKS wants to fight!
SAL wants to fight!
VICK wants to fight!
Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to fight!
Yes, yes, I get it. We all want to fight.
Let's go, Weezing!
Go, WEEZING!
FLARIKKS sent out UNDEADGATES!
SAL sent out EMPEROR SLAKING!
VICK sent out ROTTWEILER!
DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!
Hmm... we need some kind of strategical advantage!
Weezing, Smokescreen, now!
WEEZING used SMOKESCREEN! 
SCREEN of SMOKE was BLOWN at YAMI JAMES!
Cough, cough!
Weezing, you were supposed to ... aaaaachooo! 
Eherm... you were supposed to blow the smoke in THEIR DIRECTION!
Enemy EMPEROR SLAKING used GROUND SMASH!
WORLD was SMASHED by MASSIVE FORCE!
DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!
WORLD is SLOWLY moving FARTHER AWAY from the SUN!
Um... Shit... shit... SHIT!  
WORLD is DOOMED!
Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!
This isn't good!
You fools couldn't settle for just Rustboro... no, you want to destroy the whole world! Insanity!
Enemy UNDEADGATES used VIRUS!
WEEZING crashed!
WEEZING fainted!
Dang it..! And there goes my Pokemon!
WORLD is getting REALLY COLD!
Brrrrrr!!! Uh, go me.
Get'm, YAMI JAMES!
Sal... brrr.... you have to do something...!
Enemy EMPEROR SLAKING used PULL!
WORLD was PULLED BACK to its ORIGINAL ORBIT!
Thank god... but something so strong...! How can we defeat it?!
Focus all firepower on that Super Star Destroyer... I mean, Slaking!
Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE used DOZENS OF ATTACKS!
It's not very effective...
WHAT?!
EMPEROR SLAKING used EARTHQUAKE!
DEVON CORP collapsed!
YAMI JAMES and DOZENS OF PEOPLE were hit by DEVON CORP DEBRIS!
YAMI JAMES and DOZENS OF PEOPLE fainted!
Oww... defeated... again...!

Player: Sal [3-5]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

Great, now ALL of Rustboro is destroyed...
Oh well, I always wanted to be outside of the law, yay!
SAL pissed himself!
Damn it! How come when Rikks uses that EXACT SAME LINE, he evolves... and when I use it... I piss myself?!
Hardly fair...
LIFE isn't FAIR!
Sigh... does anyone have a towel?
BATTLE used END!  

FLARE VERSION Player Database

Flare Rikks [18-19-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHARMANDER, UNDEADGATES, X-BOX, LORD [dead])

Special Vikks [7-7]
(Pokemon Lineup: SQUIRTLE, SPEAROW, WATERGUN [dead])

Chris [7-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRENCHWHORE, BLUEEYESWHITEDRAGON, RALTS, DARKMAGICIAN [dead])

Yami Yugi [1-2-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: GAIAKNIGHT, SUMMONEDSKULL, KURIBOH)

Jr. Trainer [0-2] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: SANDSHREW [dead])

Rikks' Mom [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CUTIEPIE)

Brock's Dad [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GEOCITIES [dead])

Reece Benlier [4-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: THREETALES, LUCARIO [dead])

Jar Jar Binks [3-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GHOST)

Yami James [3-5]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING)

Jessie of Team Rocket [2-6] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: KOBRA)

Meowth [0-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Da Zombie Man [1-4-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: LUGIA [dead])

Seto Kaiba [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HITOTSU-ME-GIANT, JUDGEMAN [dead])

Random Pilot [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: JET)

Robotor the Robot [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGNEMITE, ROBOT [dead])

Schoolboy Danny [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: RATATTA)

Gym Leader Molds [1-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: GLOOM, VILEPLUME)

Gymleader [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: GRASS [dead])

Grassly, Little Girl [no record yet] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Police [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: GUN)

Professor Oak [1-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: PIKACHU)

Mr. Psychic [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: JYNX)

Old Woman [0-1] [dead]
(Poekmon Lineup: none)

Sabrina the Teenage Witch [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FEMALEMR.MIME, KADABRA, ABRA)

Youngster Duggy [0-3] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: MAGIKARP)

Master Sorcerer [0-0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: MINOMAGE)

Death Star 2 Spaceship Rabid Monkey of Doom [1-2-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Pizza Man [2-0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: CHEESEPIZZA, PEPPERONIPIZZA [dead], SAUSAGEPIZZA, MUSHROOMPIZZA [dead])

Vikkz a Lot [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Cris [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: HISDAD [dead])

Pizaman [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: TOWER)

Vikks' Heart [3-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: POLICEDOG)

Michael Vick [4-3]
(Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL, ROTTWEILER)

Sal [3-5]
(Pokemon Lineup: EMPEROR SLAKING, RAICHU [dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead])

Mike "Mark" Crotch [no record yet] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Flare [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEMON [dead])

Grim Reaper [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DEATH [dead], PERSIAN)

SmarterChild [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Champion Lance [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: DRAGONITE, GHOSTDRAGON, LANCE [dead])

Ronald McDonald [1-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: FRIES, SODA, BURGER)

Goku [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: KRILLIN, GOHAN, MEOWTH)

Lord Janus [0-1]
(Pokemon Lineup: OZZIE, SLASH, FLEA)

Referee [0-1] [dead]
(Pokemon Lineup: none)

Webmaster Killer Nacho [Too many wins to display here]
(Pokemon  Lineup: none)

Professor Birch [1-0]
(Pokemon Lineup: SHOTGUN)

Dozens of People [1-2]
(Pokemon Lineup: DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOONS)

Pokemon Trainer May [no record yet]
(Pokemon Lineup: MUDKIP, SWELLOW, RHYDON)

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